Have been lurking
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| Thu, 09-22-2005 - 1:08pm |
Hello. I have been lurking here for a while now and decided that it is time to come out of my quiet safe shell.
I was diagnosed about 3 months ago with Bipolar Disorder I. My doctor has changed my medicine a few times in that 3 month period. I keep hearing that I will get stable again once "we" find the right medicines for me.
I am strugling really bad right now. My brain is buzzing I feel like other people can hear it. I am afraid to tell my counselor because I feel like I am going totally nuts and that I will be put in a hospital and never be let out. My depression has not been this bad in a very long time.
I don't really know why this is happening now. My doctor told me there is no cure for this but that it can be managed with medication. Work is difficult because my moods are so unpredictable right now. Co-workers are either walking on egg shells around me or yelling at me for not being as productive as I was at one time. I don't know how to handle it all. I do not feel as strong as I once was. I am now dependent on medicine that does not even seem to be working.
I guess I just do not understand all of this. But I have been reading a lot of posts here and I suppose one thing I have learned is that I am not the only one.

Welcome to the board, I'm glad you decided to de-lurk!
Finding the right med (or combo) is one of the most important things and one of the most frustrating!
Hello and Welcome !!!
Glad you finally came from lurking...the women on this board are fabulous !!!
God could not be everywhere, so
Hey there...you've probably read my millions of posts about how nutso I've been lately...anyway, welcome to our board...I'm soooo glad you decided to post. It does help to reach out and get the support of others that share in this oh so fun journey into the world of being Bipolar. I so know how you feel right now. All I can say is it does get better...you do have to try 50 different meds sometimes before you get lucky, but sometimes you may not have to...you just have to have a pdoc you trust implicitly! You have to be HONEST with them about everything you are feeling, yes, even the buzzing! I've had the buzzing many many times...just meant I needed my meds adjusted. I've been in the hospital 4 or 5 times and they never kept me for more than 7 days. They won't keep you forever, believe me! I know its scary, honey. But hang in there...
Your co-workers just don't understand. If its making you uncomfortable, talk to your supervisor. I totally know EXACTLY how that feels too. They did that to me too...I don't remember what I did about it, I think nothing. But talk a lot here about it.
We're here for you. This is a FRIENDLY place. So, post as much as you want or need to, okay?
Hugs,
Keli
Thank you all for the welcome and comforting words. It has been a very rough afternoon, but I met with my counselor and was truthful about the buzzing, along with some other things that I needed to discuss. I have to have some lab work done for this one medication I am on. My counselor wants me to get this done tomorrow. So, I will have to spend my lunch hour sitting in a lab rather than
hi mauimomma and welcome. you will find the ladies here are very supportive and have lots of good advice to offer. you have already gotten some good advice and i can't think of anything else to add. honesty with your pdoc and tdoc, as has already been said, is very important. it has taken me a while to fully understand just how important it is.
i just wanted to welcome you. post as often as you need/want to.
hugs,
traci