i can be soooo dense!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
i can be soooo dense!
14
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 9:44am

met with tdoc yesterday and had the phone conference with pdoc. pdoc's 'appt' got screwed up 'cuz he called me late and i was on my way to work so couldn't really get into everything. he told me that anytime soon after yesterday i need to get my depakote level checked.


met with tdoc and was completely honest with her. w/o boring details, it wasn't pretty. the 2 days in between visits didn't do much for me. she told me to be sure to get the depakote level TODAY before my 2nd check-in. i told her i would.


this morning as i was drinking my coffee, i was looking over the lab order instructions. this is where my STUPIDITY came in! i wasn't supposed to have anything except water after dinner last night until i have the lab work done today. so now i may have to wait til monday and that's not gonna go over well with tdoc or pdoc. i've got a call in to pdoc to see if i can still have it done today. but it was like a 32 oz mug of coffee that i had consumed.


i'm tired of being so messed up and making all these mistakes. i want my life back! i haven't been *me* in over a year now. and i'm not even sure who *me* was.....was it me stable, me depressed or me manic/hypomanic? i'm sick of being sick. sorry, but i'm just fed up.


traci

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 12:21pm

Honey,

Do you have a plan in place if i/p becomes out of your control? i hate to mention that, but it may be time to start trying to figure things out. you can tell me to shut up, that you don't wanna talk about that, and it really won't hurt my feelings. i just thought that maybe talking about it, writing it out might help. if it doesn't, if it stresses you out, BY ALL MEANS, DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT. I'm serious. But, it seems to be getting down to the wire, and it REALLY helps to be prepared. In your situation, you need to have a plan. Do you know what I mean?

Can tdoc help you find other resources that may be available to you? They do this here in the hospital I go to. We are assigned a "social worker" who is a tdoc. This person helps find pdocs, meds, WHATEVER, for people who don't have insurance, or have insurance problems, money problems, etc. Just wondering if your tdoc had any options like that.

I am really sorry this is happening.

Keep talking. But don't talk about anything that will make you feel worse, and don't be afraid to tell me. Okay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 1:14pm

i sent you a text, but in short, i have no plan. the different pdocs/tdocs are why i was able before to avoid i/p cause things were just different then. tdoc still doesnt want to throw new ones into the mix. but has told me whatever is necessary at this point.


i'll try to keep you posted.


traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 1:30pm

Traci I've been following your post and can really understand where you are right now. I do not have much to offer here. I looked at your last reply and it looks like you do have something in mind. I know that you have children and all I can think is that you are planning to run. I hope I am wrong but that is just what I am picking up.


I hope you stay safe. I would like to get the chance to know you better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 1:42pm

Hi Mauimomma,

I am glad to see you post. I hope you are feeling okay today.

We'd love to get to know you better too!

Hugs,

Keli

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