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| Tue, 09-27-2005 - 11:48am |
Hello all! I am glad to have found this board. I am part of the Aug 05 Mommies and saw a post about this, so I thought I would check it out. I have known I was bipolar since I was 17 (I am 23) and have been on meds since 14. I am only on prozac right now, since I breastfeed and couldn't take anything other than this when i was pregnant. My dr thinks I may only have to take this since I have only been truly manic twice in my life. Anyway, pregnancy was horrible for me. I was in the psych ward twice, once in patient, once day treatment. It was rough. My emotions were OUT OF CONTROL. I felt as if I was coming out of my skin most of the time. My relationship with DH was horrible. We almost left each other many many times. Since I have had the baby and gone on the prozac (which I did around 20 weeks), things have gotten better. But there are still times when I get so mad I can't stand it. I let the past control me and I need to get out of that. My depression shows itself in anger. I have so much patience with my DS though, it is weird. I never get upset with him (he is 2 months old) or lose my temper, even if he is screaming for 2 hours strait. I think God choses the babies he knows we can handle because Kyler is such a good baby. I couldn't ask for anything better. What I want is to get my emotions under control...or atleast be able to control myself when my emotions are out of control...
Sondra

Hi Sondra and welcome! I'm really glad you came over and checked us out. There are many of us here who also have our symptoms present in rages and anger stuff. I will say this first off, anti depressants will make those symptoms present a lot! A mood stabilizer can help to even your moods out some, but I know your nursing and can't take that right now. Its frustrating, isn't it?
We're here and we understand! Its a great place of support and I hope you'll stay. I've found my best friends here and I've been here for about 4 years. This board has saved my life on more than a million occasions!
Do you see a psychiatrist?
I was 14 too, when I "became" BP. Funny how that works.
Hugs and Love,
Keli
sondra, welcome to the board. this is a great place for support and understanding. the ladies here are fantastic.
do you have a therapist in addition to your pdoc? a lot of times that is very helpful with bp people.
i wasn't dx'd until well after my youngest was born so never had any experience with meds while pregnant. i know there are others here who have and will be able to help you more with that.
post as often as you want to, vent away. that's why we are here. you are definitely not alone.
traci
I can totally relate...it sounds like you are raging...and THAT can be a way that MANIA is presenting itself to you, my dear! Fun, huh? I know, I know, humor isn't exactly called for sometimes, but you'll find that a lot of times here, we use it because to not use it, is just too dang sad!
There are many many many other mood stabilizing medications that WILL NOT make you a zombie...Neurontin, ESP at 2700 mgs, was enough to make the jolly green giant a ZOMBIE!!!! I hope you can start seeing a psychiatrist. When things start getting out of control, they don't necessarily go the other way without the help of meds. You don't have to take a million of them...that's not what I'm saying, but you may need more than just an anti-depressant. Its probably CAUSING some of the raging and anger issues.
You should do some research on Bipolar and raging. You'll see what I'm talking about. A lot of the women here can relate to that too. I know I can! Its horrid! I'm hyper-sensitive to a/d's and they always send me to the edge of mania and its usually the raging kind...not the FUN kind. So, I know exactly what you are talking about.
Hugs!
Keli
Welcome Sondra!!!!
You and I are alike in expressing our depression in anger. I myself have to work through this and it is a rough road not to be taken lightly. I'm happy to hear that DS is easy to handle even when you are angry. I hope you find a comfy home here to vent away your troubles and praise yourself on your successes!!!! There are always ladies here that I've found to be a great wealth of information in just the short time I've been here and a truely great support system!!!!
Christina; wife to Jeff; mom to Jeremiah, Brieanna, & Gavin
Hi and Welcome !!!
I'm so glad you found us...like everyone said its a great community of women and we are all here for each other.
I was the same as you...while bfeeding...I was great with ds and piss on everyone else.
God could not be everywhere, so
Totally understand. With each pregnancy i did not take meds and was manic through the whole pg. I litterally lost it many of times - same reason cannot take bc pill. Anti depressants make me manic. I take about 250 mg of depekote and it helps with the anger - rages. It is so important to find a med that helps. Depekote does put on weight but have comorbid anorexia - so weight gain is a good thing.
Jen