Sexuality/Promiscuity ***Trig***
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| Tue, 09-27-2005 - 3:53pm |
Thinking back to when I think all of this started with me and my "mood swings" I've come to realize that it started when I hit puberty at 14 instead of the 15-16 as I had originally posted. It could've started as early as 12 because that's when my parents got divorced but I really didn't notice anything until about 15-16 when I started my threats about suiside. I just thought at 14 it was normal "mood swings" because of af just starting and whatnot.
My virginity was taken from me by a close friend when I was a sophomore in HS (the crappy part is I didn't even feel it cause he was so small). About a week after this happened (and I didn't tell anyone until I was 20) I ended up having sex with another good friend of mine (boy was it so much better because I could actually feel it). I also had it taken from me when it wasn't offered from someone I worked with and never reported that either because I thought I did something to make him think I wanted it even though


hhmmm...I'm not sure if its part of bp..I think I remember seeing something about having or wanting sex more then normal..maybe that is part of the manic part.
God could not be everywhere, so
Christina,
Promiscuity is probably a bit of three things: bipolar mania or depression (of course, not every BP person does this), wanting male approval (sometimes when attention is lacking or non-existent from Dad, or sometimes just for the attention itself - Hey, it's flattering!) and some people are just more sexual/sensual than others.
Experimenting isn't always bad as long as you are "safe" about it... the problem with BP is sometimes (ok, a lot of times for some of us) we are not aware/able/willing to be safe, and we make bad and dangerous choices...
I guess that was a long way to say "yes" to your question... LOL~
The same goes for keeping a job. It's very hard for cycling BPers to be stable at anything and this includes jobs.
On the other hand, working has been my salvation. It *makes* me get up every day whether I want to or not, gives me something to think about besides my poor pathetic self, forces me to interact with other people... you get the picture.
no matter what i cannot stand to make love to my husband.
never.
but i love him.
i think promiscuity is signifigant in bp.
i have "fallen in love" with some pretty nasty men.
then i went on to make sure their lives were ruined.
yes and yes. Sexual promiscuity is common in bp. Luckily I did not go through that so much. Through my teen years the mania showed as overacheiving until I crashed. When I crashed watch out. I would just sit and rock or cry. School or home I would not care. Now for holding down a job - yep. 1.5 yrs is the longest I have lasted. Try my hardest but cant. If I stay on my meds, I am confident can do better even if part time.
Jen
Christina,
First and foremost, I am glad you are here! Its so nice to see new faces on the board :)
I have to agree with everyone else. From my experiences, promiscuity was a big problem, I honestly cant count the number of men I was with...pretty sad, I wasnt on meds until this past May but I remember having symptoms of BP as early as 11, I started af at 10, and after that everything went to crap. Anywho, for me sex was like a drug, it made me feel better, I am not sure if it was hormones or self esteem or mania or what, but I just couldnt get enough....and now I am fat and thats all different. haha. and as far as work, I have never had a job for more than 4 months, and luckily now I dont have to work at all...I cant hack it. I am hoping that if I ever get stable I will be able to work at least part time somewhere.
Anywho, I am sure you didnt really care to know all that, so the answer to your question in a nutshell is yeah I think its a part of bp to some extent, and the fact that everyone else had similar experiences only strengthens that idea.
Rebekah
Thank you everyone who posted and answered this question!!!! It puts a few things into perspective for me as to why I did the things that I did. I have seen that I had sex with guys for the attention, because I thought that was the only reason they'd like me and willing it to feel good even when it didn't.
As for the jobs; I guess I can say I would either quit or get fired because I was down and depressed or I would quit when I was manic and just wanted to spend time with my friends. My longest job was working at a hotdog fastfood place and I was there for 2 yrs 2 mo. My next longest job was my very 1st job and I was there for exactly a year....from Easter to Easter and I was fired because I was too bubblie or I had a big mouth. Oh well I started at 15 and finished at 16 and it feels like I've had about 30 other jobs since then not including or you can include my Aug 95-Apr 96 being in the army.
I also think this explains why I wasn't able to stay in Business College for very long either. It was a 2 yr course in Administrative Secretarial and they weren't moving fast enough for me. I started because one of my friends talked me into it and she drove me to and from school. Then I moved and she couldn't pick me up so I ended up going to the same school only in the town I lived in. It was fine because it was only a 20 block walk and the fresh air did me good. Until I sprained my ankle and then had to hobble those 20 blocks in dress clothes, in the heat of summer. At this time I was already done with certain course work waiting to move on to my next set of courses because I had finished them all 3 weeks early since it was a work at your own pace sort of deal thingy. Well they didn't want to advance me to my next courses and I ended up quitting and now the loan I had through there went into default. Blah!!!!
Ok that was a tangent...LOL!!!!
Christina; wife to Jeff; mom to Jeremiah, Brieanna, & Gavin
although our sexual history does not sound too familiar, except that long term relationship usually dont happen. I either leave or push them away with bp, you know how hard it would be to live with me, ouch. But my job history is much like yours.
Jen
i honestly don't know how i got by financially in this lifetime.
when the depression takes over any such thing as a "career" seems impossible.i'm awed by people who have been able to keep up longtime commitments.i'm a mother of 3 & there are many days when i could or want to walk away from that so i retreat & everyone sleeps in all day.
Christina,
That is my NUMBER ONE manic precursor. The way you know I'm manic as all get out! The way mania presents in me first and foremost. I've been in major troubles over this one. Not exactly great for my marriage...soooooo, I know that when I start flirting, or wanting to "look cute" or thinking I look cute rather, then I might be in trouble...when I start wanting lots of attention from males (okay, even from females if we're going to be honest here) then I'm in BIG TROUBLE.
I've tons of fun, but I've gotten in tons of trouble for it and I don't ever ever ever ever ever ever ever want to get back to that point again EVER. Which is why I try very hard to stay meds compliant. Its not easy, because I still have tendencies to want to fall back on that behavior even when I'm not manic. There is a different FEEL to it, and only I know that difference. Isn't BP fun? Not.
Hugs,
k.