i crashed again

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
i crashed again
4
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 5:12am
I thought things were going good. I had 11 days straight that I was stable, and now tonight I crashed. I hate this, I can't take it anymore, I can't stand feeling like this anymore. I should be so happy, I have a man that loves me and cares about me sooo much. He's always there for me, I've known him for 6 years and he's always been there for me.......only guy in my life that has NEVER walked out on me. One night he was extremely tired (he hadn't slept the night before), and he was about to fall asleep when he looked over to kiss me goodnight and saw that I had slipped into one of my moods, so he got up and took me out to the coutch and just held me while I cried......till about 6 or 7am. I'm sick of this life....everyone thinks I'm happy, that I'm fine but I'm not and I'm not going to be ok. I just want out . . . . . .
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: sandiey12
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 8:18am

I'm so sorry you're feeling so badly and that you crashed again. Its not fun, and I was just there too...but I stayed in the down for about 2.5 months. UGH! Do you hade a pdoc? Can you call and them know you are cycling like you are? You may just need you meds adjusted...sometimes that's all it takes. Do you have a regular cycle? Like every 1.5 weeks of crashing? That's definitely something that you should talk to your pdoc about. I'm glad your bf is supportive, that helps a lot too.

Keep talking to us, okay? We're here for you!

Love and Hugs,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
In reply to: sandiey12
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 9:17am

awe what a man you have !!!

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God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: sandiey12
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 10:11am

Sandiey,


It happens and sometimes all the meds don't make a bit of difference--just hang in there and know that it WILL get better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
In reply to: sandiey12
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 9:00pm

I was taking Effexor XR, Topamax and Lamotrigine for the bipolar, but I was getting nauseous and alot of severe headaches (they lasted for days). So, I made an appointment with the doctor that is treating me for the bipolar, and he said to drop the Effexor XR and see what that does (I dropped that on Sept 2nd) and if it doesn't help try stopping the Topamax for a week. Stopping the Effexor helped the nausea, and cut back the number of headaches, but I was still getting headaches. So on the 15th of September I dropped the Topamax, and that eliminated the headaches. It was a day or two after stopping the Topamax that I became stable, for 11 days, and now I'm back here.....at the bottom. It's so frustrating, I actually thought things were getting better, and I was going to have my life back.......but everytime I start thinking like that, I crash. I did have an appointment with the doctor today, and he said to keep the meds the same (200mg/day of Lamotrigine, and 90mg/day of Concerta), and see how it levels out. So, hopefully it'll get better sooner.....instead of later. I hate being down like this, aside from just feeling down, I feel so anxious and I can't handle being around people. When I'm around people I it's like my mind is freaking out, scrambling around trying to find a way out, to get away from everyone. I don't know, anyhow thanks for listening.

~Sandiey