i absolutely hate meds!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
i absolutely hate meds!!
2
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 10:07am

**Long & Possible? Triggers**


ok, so the depression is bad enough. i have been trying to beat that. trying to beat the no-sleep, and trying like h*l* to get stable again!


tdoc session on tuesday helped alleviate some of the depression, so that was good. monday i found out that if i only take the depakote at night i can sleep. and i was starting to feel better. no seroquel, no wellbutrin, no trazodone and no trileptal.


was supposed to call pdoc and discuss all this with him yesterday. yesterday was a very crazy day for me with work, football practice, softball game, dr appt, homework, so i didn't make the call. (smacks own hand)


on my afternoon bus run i started coming unglued. it's baaaaaack!!!!!!!! i was fighting so hard to keep my rage under some semblence of control so i wouldn't totally lose it in front of some 50 kids (all age 10 and under). managed that, then was almost broadsided when i was making a turn because a cop must have gotten a call and he appeared out of nowhere and flipped on his lights and siren - scared the crap out of me because i had nowhere to go to get out of his way without completing the turn. split second decisions are not my strong suit when i'm battling my rage issues. then, got back to the bus yard and had a voice mail from my 12 yo dd informing me that all of her softball gear was in my jeep and she needed me to stop by the ball field and drop it off. ordinarily this would not have been a problem, but i had to be at the dr's office at 5:30 and it was already 5 after 5. the dr's office is at least 20 minutes away and that's not rush hour. throw rush hour into the mix and you can tack on some more time. the rage started bubbling up again. called the doc let her know i was running late and hauled butt up to her office. got back to dd's game watched that, and on the way home dd was saying something and ds interrupted. wrong move! so he caught everything i had stifled from the afternoon bus run and points after. how i didn't wreck i don't know.


anyway, i got home and sat down with my dear sweet algebra book! a subject that i just don't get, but somehow have to miraculously pass in order to get my degree. hmmm, didn't do too much for my mood. so i just stopped mid-assignment and walked away from it. screw it! told eldest dd that i'm going to have to just take the 'f' and retake it at some juncture. problem with that is there's not enough hours in a day for me to do this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 10:18am

okay, isn't this fun?

just laugh...today, just laugh at it...

lemme know what pdoc says...

love ya back...

k.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 11:16am

Traci,

Yeah, meds suck. Doctor visits suck. Paying for it all sucks even more!

BUT, there is hope. There are a lot of us out there. Doctors are learning more every day. There are new medications out there all the time. There are success stories. There are set backs and then steps forward.

I guess what I'm trying to say is hang in there and keep trying.

I am passing along strength to you because I have some to give right now :-)

I hope your Pdoc has some good advice and I hope you feel better soon.

Catherine