Newly diagnosed Please help!!!
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| Fri, 09-30-2005 - 4:14pm |
I was diagnosed in March. I am so confused with what is happening to me. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about 8 years ago and this still confuses me at times. I know it confuses and frustrates my Husband.
Some days I cry all day and think of leaving my family or even life itself. Other days I am so happy and busy and excited. I don't sleep well. I take medications but am in the process of getting it reevaluated because of the deep depression problems. Some days I get so angry at my kids or my husband for no reason. I get a lot of headaches and back pain.
My friends and my hubby basically walk on egg shells with me because they don't know how I will feel today and how I will react to things. I don't want to be this way I want to be happy. I can't take it anymore I am so sick of fighting for normalsy that I just can't see straight. My family does not deserve to live like this.
HELP me answers some questions.

I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time right now. Depression steals so much from our lives. First I would like to know, do you see a psychiatrist? Do you go to therapy? What meds are you on?
Anxiety will also make you jumpy and irritable. This can be controled with the right meds or a combination of meds. Do you have time to yourself? Even if just for 30 minutes? Sometimes taking that time to listen to music or write in a journal can help. Journaling can help you get out feelings you can't express to anyone else. The best way I have found to journal in the past is to just write without thinking of what to write, like it doesn't have to make sense, just write your feelings.
Please post back and let me know the answers to the questions I asked. Also, some of the other ladies here, which are great may be able to offer more advice for you. it has been a little slow today so don't think people are ignoring you.
Keep posting
Tina~
Are you taking any meds right now for bipolar, or just depression. I highly recommend a psychiatrist and therapists, as already mentioned. There is a good book I read called Surviving bipolar and it has sections for you and your family. I will try to find the correct name and post that tommorrow.
Hugs. I am where you are and we all know how you feel.
Missy
((((((((hugs)))))))) and welcome. the first thing i learned when i was first dx'd with depression some 6 years ago is DO NOT make any major decisions right now. this includes leaving your family and/or life itself. now with bp, that's not always an easy feat to accomplish, but you gotta keep that front and foremost in your mind when those thoughts start up.
i have several questions for you. you don't have to answer them all at once, that's just the way they're jumping into my head;)
what meds are you on? when is your next doctor appointment? do you have a psychiatrist (pdoc)? and do you have a therapist (tdoc)? if you don't have a tdoc, as has already been suggested, i would also advise you to get one. there are a lot of books, as has also been mentioned. my problem with reading is when i'm in an episode - be it mania or depression - my concentration is gone and reading is absolutely out of the question. that's where tina's suggestion of just getting some time to yourself every day comes in. if you can, go for a walk. being outdoors in the fresh air seems to help me anyway. i raise 3 kids and am divorced, so free time for me is few and far between. but when the opportunity does present itself, i definitely take it.
we've all been (and some of us still are) where you're at. we definitely understand and are here to listen and support you through this. post as often as you want/need and vent away! you've found the right board:) the ladies here are wonderful!!!
hugs,
traci
Unfortunately, it can take some time to find the right one or combo because we each react so differently to the meds.
Hello and welcome, sorry I'm late responding to your post. I only have a computer during the week! I totally know how you feel. I feel the same ways lots and lots and lots of times. My family is slowly learning, I think, that they should just treat me as they would treat anyone. I hate the whole eggshells thing. I know I just have to be more assertive, and let them know if i need a break, and if i'm feeling vulnerable then I go upstairs to my room and be alone. Its not easy though, that's not what I"m saying.
Its very scary to be diagnosed as Bipolar. But things start making sense. Sometimes. :)
I hope you have a good psychiatrist that you trust and are starting to find the right meds for you. That takes a long time sometimes. Its frustrating, but you have to stick with it, and eventually, it gets better.
I'm glad you found us here, we're a great support group, and we're here with you and for you.
Hugs,
Keli
Hi and Welcome !!
I pretty much have the same questions as everyone else, so I'll wait for you to answer them.
I wanted to offer another site for you:
http://www.dbsalliance.org/info/bipolar.html
HTH
God could not be everywhere, so
Thank you everyone for talking to me. I really appreciate it. I didn't have a psychiatrist just a family doctor that has been medicating me. For a while the meds seemed to work but they are not now. I take Lexpro and Seroquel. I have taken Depression meds for nearly 6 years on and off. Every time I felt good I stopped them and was fine for a while then I would crash. Like hitting a brick wall. I don't know if what I am saying makes sense. I had a family priest give me counseling for a while and he told me he once suffered also from depression and told me that I may need to take medicatiuon for the rest of my life. I have a hard time dealing with that let alone everything else. I just want to be normal!!!!!!
I have a psychiatry appointment today. In an hour. I hate talking to doctors. I feel like I have done it for 8 years and I haven't improved, so why keep it up?
Time for my self is very seldom. I guess it does happen but I always want more. I love my kids and my DH but I want to be alone alot. I haven't tried journaling. I feel like I might be too vulnerable if I do. How can I not feel that way? I guess I feel like if I keep it all inside I won't have to feel bad, I can just be numb. But maybe that's not working either. I am so confused. I feel like all my feelings are wrong. I can't get mad cuz then I'm a bitch, I can't be sad cuz then I am neglectful. I don't feel like I deserve to be happy so I always ruin those moods too. I just feel like a terrible person sometimes.
When I get a chance I will check out the books and web sites everyone has told me about. I have to learn to live with this and be healthy. It's so hard though.
Well I have an appointment to get to. Thanks again.