leave it to the ex...- poss trigs

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
leave it to the ex...- poss trigs
8
Sat, 10-01-2005 - 2:09pm

...to ruin a perfectly good "happy" mania!!!!!! saturdays are usually spent, by me, on ball fields watching ds play football and dd playing softball. well, xdh decided today was the day he'd show up to watch their games. talking all the while about how the homeowner he's living with is selling her house and "we" found a new one in such and so town. blah, blah, blah was about all i heard. but he was acting as though the email exchange had never happened. showed up with his fancy digital camera taking pictures of ds playing football, pictures i, of course, will never see.


then, after spending the last 5 hours on ball fields i come home to a phone message from, i'm guessing, a bill collector wanting information on my ex. the man moved out 6 years ago!!!!!!! and has moved so much in that time, i can't keep up with his information so i told these people they'd have to find him by some other means. i've got my own issues with him.


i want to put my fist through something right now, but would have a lot of explaining to do if i did that. tdoc is checking for things like that. sometimes i really hate being honest with her 'cause it comes back to bite me square on the cheeks!


thanks for letting me rant! have a good day everyone! i'm going over to my couch and lay down and watch a comedy! i want my happy mood back!!!!


hugs,
traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Sat, 10-01-2005 - 6:12pm

Traci,


Give yourself 20 points for not putting your fist through him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sat, 10-01-2005 - 10:06pm

thanks marci,


i actually spent tonight watching the film version of Chicago with my 15 yo dd. i am a big fan of queen latifah! last night was her newest film 'beauty shop'. i'm taking a much needed break, short that it is, from school work. trying not to think about the ex and just kicking back.


we'll see if these people call back on monday. i think what set me off was actually having to deal with him for the entire morning at the ball games then coming home to that phone call. i just am so sick of his 'poor me' routine and then showing up pretending to be so worried about the kids. we're at a sports complex where after ds's game (during dd's) ds ran off to play with some of his buddies passing the footbal around. ex got nervous and went to find him when after asking me and i told him he was probably playing with friends around the complex. i mean what's his game? trying to prove me neglectful? that's right up his alley! ok, i'm going to back off of this again.........i feel my temper rising again.


hope the storm passed and you managed to keep your dsl. i know losing your phone has to be frustrating! i'll check in with you soon.


love & hugs,
traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 8:00am

I agree with marci, a million points for not knocking him out...UGH! he sucks!

I'm glad I got a chance to at least say hi to you saturday night now!!!

How do you feel today, any better???

Hugs and Love,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 9:45am
I have to say my x tried that 'poor me' crap also...and then when I took him to court I asked for tax returns...oh man I was pissed, he was making 2x more then me...in the end it bit him in the butt and my child support was doubled !!!
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 10:38am

-not sure what emoticon fits for this one....... maybe trigs? not sure........


i'm not real sure how i am today. i'm somewhere inbetween the rage and depression. any remains of my mood on friday was gone by last night. i swear i think it's the seroquel and the trileptal that keep bringing me down. when i'm NOT on them i'm not dragging during the day and my mood is really good. the problem is my rages and thoughts - which is why pdoc wants me on those 2 meds.


i am sooooo tired of this ride. i soar to the top just to get knocked back down. i hate to use the analogy of a roller coaster 'cause i absolutely LOVE them, but that's what this is......and it won't stop. at least not 'til i can afford to do a "face to face" appointment with pdoc, 'cause these phone appointments obviously aren't working.


i know the manic moods aren't "reality" but OMG! i am so sick of being depressed or raging when I'm not manic. i keep hearing there's a "happy medium" but i've got to wonder if it really exists!


hugs,
traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 10:44am

at the time we divorced, my x was making double what i made. the reason he got off so easy was because at that time, he was still paying support for his first 2 kids, followed by the fact that i was only working part time, and neither one of us were paying "market rent" anywhere. well, since then, his first 2 kids have both graduated high school (one's married) and i've gotten a full time job. but i wanted to try to "be nice" because the divorce was so ugly and it had a bad effect on the kids. i didn't want that to happen again. i still don't. but my back is against a wall right now and they are his kids so i've got that internal battle going on and it's making me more nuts than i was to begin with. plus i have that issue with confronting people.


i just wish i had the self-confidence people and the emotional stability i need to do this. because being so unstable right now, if this gets ugly i don't know that i can handle it. does that make sense??


thanks for listening.


hugs,
traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 10:52am

yes it makes sense....but he is setting you off, all the time.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 11:09am

traci,

seroquel makes me depressed in a hot second!!! trileptal was close to it too...it worked for stabilizing me, but it was a downer stabilizer, a lot of them are for me...which is why i refuse now to take seroquel and am on risperdal instead (love love love it).

hang in there...am busy at work right now, just checking in on ya...i'll bbl...

xoxo