me whining...again
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| Tue, 10-04-2005 - 12:25pm |
It all starts when we go to DH's grandmothers...there is something in the water down there, I swear! I hate going there. Me and DH got into a HUGE arguement, in the driveway of course! All over the most retarded thing on the planet. But then again we never fight about anything worthwhile. Anywho, we went out for breakfast and then DH wanted to go to the health food store to get some groceries for dinner. First and foremost, his cousins apartment(where we stay when we visit) is SO gross and dirty that I hate even sleeping in it, I certainly dont want to eat food thats been in the fridge or use the pots and pans, I dunno maybe I am germphobic because I know you can wash it, but its so gross I dont know if soap and hot water will clean them.
SO anyways, he wants to make dinner, which grosses me out, but we really dont need to eat out three times a day all weekend, so whatever. We get to the store and we walk in and all I see is blurs of color and noise and the kids are pulling on me and hes asking me stuff and I cant even focus on anything. Its like being in a tea cup ride, and all you see is lights and colors and sounds and you cant make any sense of anything, well thats how it is for me when I go into a store, and its especially bad when I dont know where things are in the store, I am practically useless. SO I have told DH about this several times, and he swears I havent ever said it to him. So we are in the store, and this is all going on and hes asking me "pick out something for dinner, what do you want to eat?" and I dont even know where I am, how am I supposed to figure out what I want to eat much less what it takes to prepare it and then find it in the store....so I just say "I dont care, whatever you want" and he gets PISSED. Starts going on and on about how he has to do everything and I dont ever help and I just act like I dont care and then later I complain that I dont like something and blah blah blah...making everything for the last six months seem like its my fault.
I am so sick and freaking tired of him saying this crap to me, that I just lost it. I started screaming in his face about how he has no idea what its like to walk into a store and not be able to see anything and to have days where you wish you were dead and its a struggle to get out of bed at all much less help with the housework or kids or anything like that. I was super super mad. So anyways, we ignored eachother all day and that was that, we didnt talk about it at all until the next day.
I kept trying to think of a way to explain to him what it is like for me when we go in the store, and I came up with the teacup ride analogy, so I explained it all to him, and then I was down here posting this(it got tosed the first time ;x) and I was upset so he asked me why and I told him, so then he asked me if I would mind letting him read some of the stuff I post on here....so I found some of my posts and printed them out for him to read, and it has made a world of difference. He was actually nice to me for a whole day, and picked me up from school because I wasnt doing very well( I managed to cycle 4 times yesterday!) and was just great overall. So maybe things will get better, I am also going to bring all those same posts to pdoc so she can see what has really been going on, because when I get there, I never can really tell her exactly how things have been going.So thats that
Rebekah


I am very proud of you for doing that.
God could not be everywhere, so
Rebekah,
I have HUGE communication problems with my dh...well, not just him. Most people. I am GREAT at writing, so I ALWAYS write everything. I do. Plain and simple. Write stuff to my dh, my pdoc...my tdoc! LOL! But it works for me.
I'm proud of you too.
Hugs,
Keli