More whines...skip if you want...really.
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| Mon, 10-10-2005 - 1:24pm |
i just really hate depression, at any level...its pretty mild right now, but its enough to cause me no motivation...i was really productive the last 2 weeks at work...got lots of stuff caught up...but now my regular work is still here and getting behind again...just plain zero motivation...our weather is absolutely beautiful, mid to upper 80s and no humidity...perfect. And i could care less...its one of those days where i want to take meds to sleep until tomorrow...and if i don't feel better tomorrow, sleep some more until i do...
i know you all will yell at me, but i just cancelled my pdoc appt for wednesday...but the reason is simple, i can't afford it this week. i already owe $75 in back copays, and can't really add another $25 onto that again. i will reschedule for next week, or the week after. i'm thinking this depression is just pms...i'm hoping so anyway, but if it gets worse, or continues another couple days, I will call my pdoc and see what she says. I hesitate to do so, because of med changes. I'm still titrating up on Lamictal, so I'm trying to just wait it out. But I know how bad off I get with the depression, and I am starting to freak out, but trying not to, because it only makes me MORE depressed, ya know?
i hate to keep whining, but i really have to be able to talk somewhere and i am told this is the place, but i keep having thoughts that you are all tired of me...tired of me and my mood swings and never being okay...guess that's stemming some from the comments dh made this past weekend...i dunno...
i'm just falling...and i want to kick my own a$$ because i'm not stronger right now...i feel like a big poor me baby and its okay if anyone wants to call me that.
i hate the alphabet...you know...bp, pms, pmdd, sa, si, ptsd, bpd, all those labels i have...what they all really spell are the letters...C R A Z Y ...

Would you like some cheese and crackers with your whine?
ha ha ha...Marci that was a good one...I laughed my you know what off on that one !!
Keli, sweety...you are fine here, and we are not sick of you...so stop it !!!
pms does have a lot to do with it...but don't let it win !!!
God could not be everywhere, so
and just how often have you all tolerated my whining?!?! look here miss keli, you whine, rant, rave, kick, scream all you want to here! we're all here for you just as we're here for everyone here. did that make sense?
anyway.....i agree, the pms thing probably has tons to do with this latest. i think, although i wouldn't swear to it, pms had a lot to do with my bottoming out last week. i really need to start paying more attention to that stuff. lol!
i also can definitely understand canceling the pdoc and agree with what has already been said. as long as you can still contact her by phone, you should be ok. you've been with her long enough she knows you and knows you won't abuse that.
sweetie, know you can talk to us as much as you need to. and as you have told me, repeat yourself if you need to.....whatever it takes!
love ya girl!
traci
awww Keli ((((((hugs))))))))
I know how ya feel, but dont think we are ever tired of you. I for one am not. I even have dreams about you guys sometimes :P haha that makes me sound like a weirdo, but whatever. Anyways, I just want to say I can relate 100% btdt. Dont ever feel like we dont want to listen.
Rebekah
Keli,
Sorry to hear bout the bad day. Try and take it easy. I always like a bath when i get down. that is how I am feeling today, everybody and thing is aggitating me. Gotta love the alphabet soup - mine is pms/bp :)
Jen