bp's playing w/ my head again.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
bp's playing w/ my head again.........
5
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 12:47pm

i just got back from a conference w/ eldest dd's counselor and algebra 2 teacher. dd has been struggling to keep her head above water ever since the school year began in this guys class. dd had asked to be taken out of this class and moved back down to retake algebra 1. both the guidance counselor and the teacher felt this would be a HUGE mistake. and like i know anything about it?!?!?! i can't get through algebra 1 as an adult, i can imagine how dd feels right now.


so anyway, i'm torn about what to do. i know dd is a perfectionist (don't know where she gets it from), she's dx'd bp, she's 15 almost 16, and then there's the a/f that as a female she gets to endure. she's going to have a total meltdown when i tell her that counselor/teacher both feel she should stick it out til the end of the marking period, then the teacher will reevaluate her progress. which, i think is fair, but at the same time, all they are doing in class this marking period is

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 1:01pm

Traci,


There just may be a personality issue with this teacher since she's trying to avoid him/her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 1:04pm

i'm in the same boat with my ds and algebra 1. he's struggling SOOO badly in it and is probably going to get a D (i'm praying!!!) on his report card next week in it. he only has 4 classes this term (they are longer than regular classes...something new they are doing) but he's still struggling bad. its because of his adhd (i think) and he says, because he HATES his high school. sooooo, i feel guilty because i haven't moved and gotten him into the school of his choice. BUT, tdoc says he has to learn to adjust to WHATEVER comes his way and I have to stop making everything easier for him. If he fails, its because he fails. Not because he can't get extra help from the teacher (he can, like your dd can) and not because he doesn't have everything he wants. he has to learn that in life everything is always perfect...he has to roll with the punches as he isn't a child anymore. your dd has to do the same thing. if they fail, we help them at that point, somehow. but we have to let them fail. ya know what i'm sayin? we are hurting them more in the long run by making everything all rosy.

let her stay in the class for a while. it will become more apparent whether or not she can do the work. but for now, she needs the opportunity to have to be MADE to try.

its not US...its them, and their lives...we can't make reality easier to deal with...

only BP makes you think that way...let it go...if you don't, its gonna bring you down further again...we aren't going to let that happen!

love ya

Avatar for missyflanders
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 2:02pm

I had one teacher, in 10th grade too, that I just did not jive with. I went in for extra help but still did not get it, as he was teaching it. It was the only class I ever failed at (chemistry) and although I stayed in the class, my mother now says she should have pulled me as it was useless. (She did not see this until my other sisters had the same issue with this teacher. I would suggest talking to your dd and seeing if it a teacher conflict and if it is move her. JMHO.

Missy

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 2:04pm

interesting how different schools do different things....they moved my dd down a level and didn't even tell me !!!

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Avatar for momtwofourboys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 2:07pm

I wish I could help, very good at math. Is there a way you could afford a tutor or find some adult in the community that would be willing to help. I understand being the bp perfectionist teenager. It is hard. Maybe allowing her to step down would take off the pressure. Just let her know a C is okay. Talk to the teacher and see if she could come in before or after school for extra help.

Remind her it is okay not to succeed at everything. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. I have to tell my 9 yo that a lot. He is a very big perfectionist.

Jen