Old me still lingering

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Old me still lingering
12
Thu, 12-09-2010 - 10:17am
Hi everyone,

Last week my Mom broke her wrist and it couldn't be casted at that point. Her wrist is pretty sore, she is right handed and that's the wrist she broke so it's been challenging to manage. Me and the rest of the family are helping as much as we can and I thought I was coping fairly well. We found a clinic that could of cast her wrist earlier than was scheduled but getting her x-Ray exams turned into a challenge. She already has a scheduled appointment for this coming Monday but I reverted back to trying to control an outcome of a situation. I spent way more time than was neccesary calling doctors, clinics and the hospital and the end result was something I had no control over at all. I went through all the emotions I normally would have in the not so long ago 'old' days and was exhausted and frusterated by the end of the day. Yesterday was a very good lesson for me, I am still to close to my ways of coping in the past and I need to work much harder at letting go when it's time too. It's a new day and I will take this new insight with me. Happy almost the end of the week:)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Thu, 12-09-2010 - 10:43am

Good morning :)

I'm sorry to hear that your Mom broke her wrist...and around the Holidays...ugh.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Thu, 12-09-2010 - 10:52am

Jen - many warm wishes sent to your mom and you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Thu, 12-09-2010 - 6:53pm
Hi Clarity, thank you for the encouragement and support:) It would be great to not second guess myself and it will be wonderful the day I don't question every action I do. I have a better understanding of what you brought up that it takes years to cultivate behaviours and to change them will take time and patience. Going back to who I was will never work for me, I don't want to be not accountable or not reponsible for my actions and choices any longer. It feels so much better to experience the good and bad feelings with a better understanding of where I am coming from than ever before:) letting go of the thought that I think I can contol everything is a better step and is freeing as well. Have a nice evening:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Thu, 12-09-2010 - 7:00pm
Laura, thank you for the warm wishes for my Mom and I :) Life does go on doesn't it? Today I feel much more accepting of that fact and will keep that thought with me to remember as I go further along in this journey of healing. Thank you for the encouragement and support:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Thu, 12-09-2010 - 7:42pm

Jen -

I hope your mom's wrist mends quickly :) Learning to let go of control is a very hard thing isn't it? I struggle with that too. But when we realize we aren't really in the driver's seat, it sure makes it easier. Just keep repeating "surrender" as your mantra.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Thu, 12-09-2010 - 8:55pm

Jen,

You are a truly amazing spirit. I am so impressed with your growth and your ability to identify and recognize the areas in which you still need to work. You remind me of the tortoise in Aesop's tortoise and hare story. Slow and steady, you stay on course. No wild outbursts. No veering off track because you have a wild

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Fri, 12-10-2010 - 12:49am
Thank you Bodhi:) It has been hard, just when I think I have grasped to let go of control I stumble. I am going to use the mantra of surrender, I need to remind myself of this and I think it's a great mantra to use to keep working on letting go. Thank you Bodhi for the suggestion and support:) My Mom is feeling better and getting alot of practice using her left arm, I think Santa will need to be extra nice to her this year!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Fri, 12-10-2010 - 1:25am
Thank you alwayst2:) Big squeezy hugs to you as well! I have always liked the tortoise and hare story and I liked that I reminded you of the tortoise! I always did have a soft spot for him;) Each day it seems there is a new challenge and somedays I feel I have gone through the challenge very well and other times not so well. I think I am going to think of the tortoise and staying on track when I meet a difficult challenge, the comparison is very helpful. I heart you too and I am happy that we can be an inspiration to each other. My Mom is feeling better and getting alot of practice being a lefty!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Fri, 12-10-2010 - 7:46am

((Hugs)) Jen, to you and your mom.

I am very impressed with how you are noticing that old coping skills must be nixed so new ones can come into play. Insight into our own behavior is a BIG plus in the healing column. You are truly an inspiration around here, and I always look forward to your posts.

Keep plodding along, my little turtle and Aesop's Fables have always been favorites of mine.

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Fri, 12-10-2010 - 10:02am
Thank you iddy:) I have a big smile on my face after reading your reply. The inspiration I recieve from all of you is amazing and if I can give some of that back then that is a wonderful gift to all of us who receive and give support to feel that warm feeling. Plodding along slow and steady<3

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