The guilt is setting in
Find a Conversation
The guilt is setting in
| Mon, 12-13-2010 - 8:30pm |
First time posting finally getting the courage to do so. a little about me IM a SW involved with a mm. I can't say IM proud of what IM doing I know this is one of the worst things I can be doing sleeping with another woman's husband.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
Hello NSS,
Welcome to EAS.
I can tell you that you deserve better and that you are single so go out and allow yourself to meet an honest single man but that probably wouldn't work. I will tell you that I am a MW who had an A with a single man. I will also tell you that what I did was really wrong and that my xap was the worse mistake of my life. I am rebuilding with my H and things are going well. I will also tell you that I called my xap one day and told him it was over. At the time I didn't understand why he was so devastated at the time because I told myself that he knew I was M at the time he got involved so why be mad when I decide to stop betraying my H. I was very messed up at the time. Your AP is also messed up right now and he is using you to stroke his ego. He is going home and living a lie and pulling you into something that will only leave you heart broken in the end. I never felt bad for my xap because in order to save my M, the man I really loved in RL and wanted to stay M to, I had to completely cut my xap out and cleave to my DH. Reading the post on this board written by single men/women has helped me to understand what my xap went through. While I can't truly say that I feel sorry for him, I can say that I feel sorry for the woman I was who pulled a single man into my madness. You may not believe this, but you are seeing a terrible side of your AP. The dishonest immoral side and you are enabling his bad behavior. Trust me, he is totally different in his RL. I know that you don't think about his W because it helps you to deal with the fantasy by thinking that she doesn't exist, or she some mean old W, or she is fat or whatever, but she is real with feelings and unless she signed up for an open M she doesn't deserve to be kept in the dark. If this MM really loves you stop enabling him and tell him to bring you out of that secret fantasy world and put you into his real life by being honest with his W and telling her that he has found another woman he wants to be with. Don't settle for being his secret. On Christmas morning when he wakes up to his W and she is laying next to him, where will you be? Waking up alone clinging to your phone waiting on him to sneak away for a few minutes to give you a call. You don't have to play second best like that to any woman. You can find a man who won't hide you because no matter how you look, or how you are shaped you don't have to be any man's secret.
Thank you so much for your respond I truly appreciated. I have decided to end this chapter of my life and start of a new one. One that I wont be shame about one that I wont have to keep a secret. Today will be my my second day of NC. I know I can do this and im glad I found this site so anytime I feel weak I can come running this way. im even wearing a rubberband so anytime I think about him and wish to make contact I can snap it and get back on track. Thank you so much for helping me on my decision.
xoxo to all of you!!!