Yet, another question

Avatar for firstglimpse
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Yet, another question
3
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 12:06am

Sorry, I do believe I'm obsessive!!!

So, if a BP 'falls in love' during a manic phase, is it possible for the love to retain once they come out of it?

Does the BP remember everything that went on during the manic phase? I know when my brother was so drunk he had to detox he could not remember any of the detox or what happened the weeks previous, even though during the drunk time & the detox he did remember it. So at first I thought, if he just sobered up he'd forget about her ... but now I'm not so sure.

I'm still going through with my plan. I am seeing a lawyer. I don't want to, not a fiber in my body, but it seems to be the responsible thing to do.

I have also just written him a letter stating if now that he's in treatment and he wants to have me back I'm willing to listen. Then I've listed 4 things I would expect, non-negotiable (stop all communications with her, and recovery in both addiction & bipolar). Then listed about 8 things that are negotiable that I believe would be good for our self-eteems and recovering from this & our intamcy.

Thanks,
Bonnie




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 5:14am
trust me...there is no way this new relationship(with her)will last.
he'll be back.
you happen to be the strenght he needs
unfortunately for you.
as for the answer to your question.
no.
memory does not fade for the manic.
but with the depression comes a whole new world.
& most people run like the the wind when that world comes to life
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 7:35am

Hi Bonnie,

I've not yet read your other posts yet, but you are NOT obesessive, you're just trying to save your marriage! I'm not around on weekends yet, as I don't have a computer at home. Dang it! Anyway, from MY perspective and experience ONLY, I not only REMEMBER every affair, every minute of every affair, but I do so with SHAME, and regret, and total embarrassment and guilt for the pain I've caused my family. I've been in therapy and worked through this for the most part. But it still hits me from time to time. But I've learned to let it go. Each person (you and your dh) are going to have to work through it, FEEL THE PAIN, talk about it (only once or twice) and LET IT GO in order to move on.

Yes, he'll remember and that's punishment enough.

I just want you know how much I admire you. You're totally amazing.

Hugs,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 9:05am

Hi Bonnie


I think you are doing the right thing...you love the man, of corse you do, otherwise you wouldn't have married him.


And you are not obsesive...you love him and you are trying to understand what is going on and doing what is best.


Hang in there...and post all you need to..its what we are here for.

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