so new, and so in need of some support tonight... please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2010
so new, and so in need of some support tonight... please!
8
Wed, 12-15-2010 - 6:48pm

hi strong women (cause that's what you all are!),

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009

W4P,

Sadly, you are caught up in the attention, the attraction, and the feel goods you are getting. We all were at one time, but working with them is a whole other ball of wax. It makes it so much more convenient to feed off of one another. What you need to focus on

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010

Hi wishes,

I did not work with ex-ap but my A was very much about attention and more so sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2010

Wishes, you are ME four years ago. I came onto this board then and prayed for help to get the hell out of this mess. Despite all the good advice, I convinced myself I was different.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2010

I came here three times before I finally (hopefully) ended. The first time, my post was a lot like yours. "We haven't actually slept together.." does not mean you are not in an affair.

Some early advice that I got said something like "I wish that I had the opportunity to stop before I had started."

Give yourself a Christmas present and get off the fence. I wish I could say it would be easy but it is not.

Glad you are here. I hope you join us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2010

Hi Wishes and Welcome.

I am responding to your post becuz I still work w/xap.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2010
good post miss lulu! true but also very kind
Love, Sunshine Dedicated to living my new life with integrity, truth and positive thoughts! I am worthy of true love and definitely worth the wait!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010

Wishes,

My affair lasted a little over a year. It was LD and filled with passion and great sex, when we got to see each other. After I ended the A, all I could think about was that I had given up the sex. Then I reached a phase where I started to bargain with myself that perhaps it would be okay to re-engage in the A so that we could have more sex, after all, we weren't hurting anyone as long as they didn't find out, right??

WRONG!!! I am 9 weeks out of my A and I can tell you that I am now discovering that I have done all kinds of damage to myself by getting involved in the A. I am going through a terrible time right now, dealing with the fallout.

There is no easy ending to an A. It hurts to stay in and it hurts to get out, so there's no way you're going to avoid pain. However, if you end the A, you will at least be taking steps toward becoming an honest woman again. Life can only get better from there, KWIM?

Hugs,

~alwayst2

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2010

"It hurts to stay in and it hurts to get out"

So true, and so much LESS hurt if you get out NOW rather than later.