I can't deal...
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| Wed, 10-26-2005 - 11:34am |
with this depression! I can deal with cycling...I can deal with mania...I can deal with most everything...but the stupid depressions I can't deal with...I feel MISERABLE! I hate it so much...I have no motivation...no energy...I don't care about anything...I just want to go home and go to bed...I don't know why I am staying at work and fighting it...because I feel SOOOO horrid...Everything is bothering me...I need sleep, just sleep...because if I am asleep, I don't FEEL it...God...
I increased my Lamictal to 75 mgs last night...and for tonight too...then Friday I go to 100 mgs...for a week...then up to 200 mgs...I know once Monday comes, and I get paid, and get my car back, I will feel a bit better...I know all this...but it doesn't change anything NOW!
I'm so sick of it all...depression is the worst for me...I just can't take it...I just can't!
I think I really am going to go back home in a little while...I just don't know what to do right now...if I take the next 2 days off, I should stay today...and I haven't decided if I want to do that yet...I think I want to...take some time off work...I haven't had a few days off in a row in a long time...
Okay, just made a snap decision...I'm taking the next 2 days off, in addition to Monday...am emailing my request to my boss now...
So, I'll be here this afternoon...you might be hearing from me a lot this afternoon, lol.
Love to all,
Keli

Keli
I think that is a great idea !!!
God could not be everywhere, so
no, that is NOT bad at all...many days I go home, now that my ds is older and I just chill out...on the couch...i plan on doing that the next couple of days myself...doing absolutely nothing...well, almost nothing...i still have to make ds breakfast...he eats oatmeal every morning, lol...has loved it ever since he was little...maple and brown sugar...so at 6 a.m. i'll be up doing that...then hopefully, i can go back to sleep...my sleep is so bad though, i'm afraid i won't be able to...but i do have my trusty ativan!
this weekend i will be at my parents...but for the next couple of days, i will be in my bed, flipping channels...sleeping...taking hot baths...reading.
i cannot freaking wait...
i was honest with my boss...said "to be perfectly honest, i just need some time off" and left it at that. period.
keli,
(((((((((Keli)))))))))) I think that taking a couple days for you is perfect! The increase in the lamictal should start kicking in, and you will be able to enjoy some quality Keli time.............long overdue if I may say so;)
I hope you get lots of rest and relaxation! You sooooooooo deserve it!
Love Ya Girl!
Traci