I've invaded his privacy
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| Wed, 10-26-2005 - 12:57pm |
Ugggh, I've always believed in trying to get dh in for his own recovery. Even when I had him hospitalized I made sure he was willing to go with every step I took. When I took him to the ER on 10/5/05 I know I could have told them he was suicidal & they'd take custody and he'd be forced to sober up. I DID believe he was suicidal as I had even had an 'endangered missing persons' police report on him at that very moment. But dh did not want the state to take custody (as they had when he was hospitalized 7 yrs ago) so I didn't. Even when he kept running out the door of the ER (one time even ripping the IV out of his arm spraying blood everywhere, luckily I wasn't there at the time & when he got outside he realized he had given me his wallet & he had no money on him).
Since he's told me he had this assessment I have been wondering if I should call and warn them he may be bipolar, but felt it was too much of invasion. But since yesterday he said he doesn't think he is now I did it!!!
Last week he told me if I asked he'd give me the name & number of the clinic if I wanted it. I don't think he'd give it to me now, but he sort of gave me the invitation last week anyway.
So I called the doctor who gave dh the referrenc, he gave me the name, number and contact, I called. Due to confidentiality they cannot confirm or deny if he has an appt, which I didn't ask for anyway as I understand that, but they did state IF a person under this name comes in the councelor will receive note that patient may be BP and in denial.
XXXXXXXXX (crossing fingers)
I feel guilty, but relieved at the same time.
Bonnie

Hi Bonnie,
I have to interject here for bit, and tell you that I really think you are about to cross the line. You need to back off a bit, or he's going to run very quickly the other way FROM treatment. If my dh, OR ANYONE, did that to me, I would VERY angry, and resentful and when you're manic you DO NOT HAVE THE BEST JUDGEMENT and you make irrational decisions, like just not going into treatment period.
I know you have his best interests at heart. But he has to do this on HIS OWN! You can't force this on him. It just won't work.
I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be mean, I am just being honest.
Hugs,
Keli
but how is he going to find out?
God could not be everywhere, so
I did not say he <> BP, but that we have suspected he might be as it runs in his family. I do not even know if the councelor can assess something like this, but s/he has been alerted and hopefully will just note that perhaps s/he can suggest a mental health evaulation.
I cannot take it back now, it's done.
I'm also on my last rope here. If he's not bipolar and he's done this, I have to move on & move on immediately. I really believe this woman he's with is after my children as she cannot have any of her own & has been trying for years. As what one of her best friends has told me she's still on hormones trying to get pg.
I am normally an EXTREMELY patient person, but my children are on the line here.
Right now I already feel like I've lost him. My only hope is if he gets into the right type of care soon any of this be salvaged. So if he doesn't get the right treatment now, I'm outta here. So really, what did I have to lose?
....but now I am a little freaked out as this was my first time trying to take the drivers seat. But at the same time, I've been playing passenger for 14 years. The car is in high speed, the wall is coming up fast, I am trying to hit the brake before I have to jump out or I'm going to collide too.
Bonnie
"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."
~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
completely understandable.
God could not be everywhere, so
well, that's true too...
i guess he wouldn't know...if he found out about it, then he would be upset...but if he never knew...you're right...
sorry, bonnie...i was thinking about ME and what I would do if I found out someone did that to me...
now i feel bad...i didn't mean to upset you...i'm sorry...
you really are amazing...and handling all of this so well...i admire you still...
thx ... I wasn't upset, scared, I don't want to lose him, but fear I already have.
i.e. you scared me. I'm trying to call back up there & have someone answer to make sure they don't let him know I called in.
"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."
~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
it's a really hard call.
first of all i have crossed the line out of hurt & fear & anger.
also...your husband IS your family.when my brother in law rapidly poisioned himself to death with alchohol everybody ended up asking "wasn't ANYONE paying any f***ing ATTENTION??????" but to this day no one wants to ask his wife that question.when i got sick my husband thought nothing of invading my emails & reading my mail & my diaries to find out what the heck was going on before he finally took me to the hospital.for years he had been telling me to "go get help" & i didn't know how.
nobody is wrong here.