Friday 10:30AM

Avatar for firstglimpse
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Friday 10:30AM
3
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 4:41pm

His apt is for Friday at 10:30AM. Then they will decide if he needs to be inpatient or outpatient.

He somehow went through 6w of Librium in 2w. But that also means he's on the lowest dosage. What will happen once that is gone, I don't know. But he looked better today than he did 2w ago. He said he's hardly drinking anything now.

Where will he sleep between Sunday on Monday? I don't know. But I told him as long as I knew he had an actual date to start recovery in the very near future he can stay here, but it's up to him.

He did say he does not want to go back to California. He also said we have a lot to work through. I wonder if he's trying to end it with her, as he doesn't even want his friends to know about her - but that may be wishful thinking.

I reminded him, right now we need to get him through detox &/or intensive care before we can work through our stuff. (Because I know it will do us no good to work on it now. He's not in the right frame of mind.)

It's not today as I wished, but I think he'll follow through this time. He looked & acted almost normal. Easily agitated, shaky, worn out, but like his brain/mood is much more stable than it was 2w ago.

Plus, if I can keep my mood up for the next week I sort of like the idea of him spending time with me last before going into treatment. So for this next week I need to release her from my mind. When he calls her I have to convince myself she is just a friend & not get irate when he does (both times he went down to see her is because I got so mad at him talking to her).

We can deal with the 'her' issues in 2-4w when he is more stable. The main goal now is to keep him comfortable enough to stay put until next Friday.

What a challenge ... because I cannot lose myself in this next week either. That doesn't do either of us good. So I'm going to repeat positive affirmations about myself daily, keep my confidence of myself up and believe there is a brighter tomorrow no matter the outcome.

When talking to to a facility today they told me they needed to deal with the addiction before the BP. So as the 2w of intensive care nears the end I'm going to talk to him about BP treatment.

Thanks everyone for dealing with my roller coaster ride.

Bonnie




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2005
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 8:33pm
Bonnie, keep on hanging in there. THinking of you.
Mary (^_^)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 11:39pm

((((((((((((((Bonnie)))))))))))))) This isn't easy and it won't be for all intents and purposes, but you are doing GREAT! You have taken the steps you needed to take to protect yourself and your children during this crisis and at the same time kept faith in your dh and hope for treatment for him. That takes a tremendous amount of strength! I'm very proud of you.


Keep on keepin' on sweetie! And remember, we are always here for you:)


Love & Hugs,
Traci

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 10-29-2005 - 5:54am
you're a better woman than me.