Help and advice please...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Help and advice please...
5
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 8:02am

I got into an argument with my son's psychiatrist today and he finally said I don't want to argue with you but why don't you want to be your son's guardian? I told him he is not imcompetent and I don't want to force him to be placed somewhere and he said in the state of Florida that the only way to get him the help he needs is to get guardianship or that he will end up in the legal system and the courts will decide what happens to him. So I asked that is in the state of Florida? He said yes, if we lived say in Washington State things would be different. This is where your help comes in. Help me find the best place to move to that would have the best possible medical (mental health) care for my son. He is intelligent and loving (when he is not manic) and I know that God has wonderful things in store for him, just not here. I also looked up the best psychiatric hospital in the nation and that is in Massachussets and I am going to see if the insurance I have will let him spend a week there to get treatment and a complete 2nd opinion. His current psychiatrist couldn't believe I knew about the hospital! I am NOT going to give up. He was amazed that I would be willing to move and start over anywhere that would benefit my child. Obviously he is a man and doesn't understand the mother and child bond!!

The other thing is that I will need a lot of support from you ladies because I cancelled my therapist appointment and will not be returning because in our last sesssion he said that he had considered baker-acting me (on two occasions) and placing ME in the psych ward of the hospital because I was "allowing" myself to live this life and not looking out for myself. Then he said when he decides to do that to me I would have no choice but to go and if I refused he would have the police escort me. This is why I can't return.

I am just trying to keep my family together and I always will.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 8:42am

Hi, welcome to the board. I'm a bit confused by your post though. Is your son over the age of 18? Is that why the guardianship issue was raised? I can't imagine anyone turning away a person, child or adult, for treatment, but then I've been known to be overly optimistic when it comes to fair treatment about certain issues.


I know there are a few people on the board that live in Florida who might be more savvy with the Florida laws, but it just seems odd to me, unless I missed something in another post maybe.


As for moving, I can't tell you what decision to make there. But if your son is on your insurance wouldn't that make you his guardian? This is what confuses me. But, if the place in Mass will be covered and the insurance will go for it, then that looks like a wonderful option for you right now.


Please keep us posted.


Hugs,
Traci

Avatar for atober
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 9:13am

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I wouldn't go back there either. I thought therapists were to help work through problems not threaten you. You are doing what you have to do right now and the therapist's job is to help you through it. If you don't help your son, it will be detrimental to you emotionally so why would the therapist discourage thar? I am sorry for such awful treatment you have endured at the hand of the person who should be helping you.

Alison

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 10:01am

I totally agree! I wouldn't go back there either.

I live in Florida and I must admit that I am confused by your post too.

Is your son older than 18? I don't understand why you must get guardianship of him, unless that is the case. As for him going into the legal system to get help, I just don't understand. I know with me, I was able to admit myself into the hospital, WITHOUT being labelled incompetent, and get the help I needed. I am Bipolar I, along with other disorders. I feel the urgency in your post, your need to get your son the help he needs and please know that we are here to help you and support you in any way that we can.

If you feel you can, please explain the situation a little more and maybe we can help.

Many Hugs,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 10:01am

I appreciate the support. My son is 20 and he is still covered under my insurance so I emailed the hospital and asked about coverage. We'll see. I also applied for employment there. We'll see if it is a benefit for us to get him medical care if I am hired and also I have had enough of hurricanes so relocating for me won't be a problem.

Thanks for the support. I will keep you posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 11:05am

Your best bet to find information on involuntary committment requirements nationwide would be www.nami.org (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill--an advocacy group that specializes in assisting families of the mentally ill).