Sometimes I am really stupid

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sometimes I am really stupid
5
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 9:05am

Okay, so for two days now, I'm struggling again, rapid cycling like CRAZY!!! Even worse than ever...so what's different?

NO TOPAMAX!

I am SO going back on it tonight. Pdoc said it was up to me...to take it or not take it as I saw fit...

I see fit.

Now, if I can just make it through the day...

Somehow...

Not doing well at all...but I can do it...I need to be able to focus on my work, and I have to go do that stupid ADHD test sometime today too...I am so all over the place, racing thoughts, can't sit still...depressed, but not...its all NUTS!

Ugh and double ugh!

Why am I so stubborn and stupid about my meds???????????

Okay, maybe I should take an Ativan...I'm supposed to when I start feeling like this, but I don't want to get too sleepy...hmmmm...I don't know...but I'm really starting to fly here...pretty mixed right now...depressed but manic...but not either...but all at the same time...this is bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 9:18am

first of all, you are not stupid...second, why don't you carry your meds with you?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 12:36pm
I stopped Topomax in June. It hasn't affected me. I DO need to say I take Seroquel at night and Ativan as needed so-I am calmed medically.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 1:14pm

I have both of those too, prn...Ativan every day...and Seroquel for when I get so agitated and manic I can't control myself...don't hardly take it cuz i hate it...its too sedating!

But I live for my Ativan...

I just don't take it til I get home from work...so all day long at work, I'm going and going and going...unless I am depressed...which happens frequently too...then I'm nothing but a waste of space doing nothing...ick...I'd rather be this way!

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 11:14pm
why did you stop the topamax?
the side effects?i know you were having a hard time.
i take 100 2 times a day & after about a week i adjusted well.the first week,yeah...i fell down...alot.
now,i find that words actually roll off my tongue alot easier.i seem almost more aware.
why can't you try it at a lower dose?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 6:26am

suzi,

actually i stopped it because i really AM stupid...lol.

no reason, only that i thought i didn't need it...i go through that sometimes...

i know now that i DO need it and i started it again last night...already i feel much better...i take 200 mgs too...i have been up to 400 mgs, and can go up as i feel i need to...but 200 seems to work best for me...

xoxo