firstglimpse

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
firstglimpse
4
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 3:32pm
something dr. phil just said...he's not finished...but truth be told it's too hard to finish watching...for ME..it's a little close to home BUT it reminded me of your situation because the man clearly wanted his cake & he wanted to eat it too.the only thing his wife failed to do according to dr. phil was to kick his sorry a** to the curb because then he could get his lovin' where he wanted but still have her to be mommy to his kids & nice him when he needed it.SO why should he change?
sometimes we all need a good kick in the butt.
even phil says so.
Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 3:40pm

furthermore,his treatment of her was coloring the way she sees herself,getting in the way of her mothering...DESTROYING HER SELF ESTEEM.....as she put all the power in his hands waiting for him to decide whether or not he was leaving when she should be saying don't let the door hit you on the way out!

sound familiar??????

Avatar for firstglimpse
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 4:36pm

Too familiar. I invested too much into his recovery & diagnosis. I've been way too nice & now today he is making me pay the price. I'm not responding, but the e-mails are coming in.

What happened to Toaism? What happens to those who love to give love?

My father is receiving his Karma knowing what I'm going through now is making him relive the guilt of 30 yrs past. I just hope for my dd sake this is not how H receives his Karmic turn-a-round.




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 5:19pm
delete them.don't even tempt yourself to respond.you have been too nice.& at this point i think all it's going to do is enable him & destroy you.
Avatar for firstglimpse
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 11:22pm

Didn't delete the really nasty one. I've printed it off & taking to my therapy appt tomorrow to help me recover from it.

Went to the doc today, gave me lots of samples of Zoloft, saves me money!!! I start my 1st 25mg pill tomorrow. Wonderful doc. He already knows what is going on. He's even called me to check up on me. Told me to call him again in 2 weeks. Yes, primary care physician. Dang am I glad I gave up the ped & started to take my kids to see him. Now he sees me all the time rather than once a year or so.

H found this doc, almost left him once b/c doc nearly forced him into the ER - we still went, but doc was about to send him by ambulence, but H was able to talk him into letting him come and get me & I take him up. So our doc has seen these episodes over the years.

Bonnie




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng