My heart is heavy
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| Thu, 12-23-2010 - 11:15am |
I've been popping in on the board when I can to keep abreast of how everyone is doing. Haven't had time to make any thoughtful posts, but I'm making time now.
My heart is heavy because I see so many of my beautiful, broken EAS sisters struggling, and breaking NC. I apologize because I feel somewhat that I led that charge. I don't want to encourage anyone from not being honest on this board, but it is not okay to break NC, especially so in the early stages of ending. It is painful and completely unproductive.
I know this whole season is just fraught with emotions and a sense that we should all be "merry" as we suffer through our own private hell with a plastic smile stuck on our face. I, for one, would like to crawl in a hole until Spring. Although I haven't had one single "longing" thought of xAP since I texted him last week, there are many other issues I am dealing with--as we all are. It all amounts to STRESS during an already stressful time of year. Most of us are probably the primary caretakers of our households, children, extended family, etc. We are supposed to be strong and hold the universe together, right? Very few people can see what's really going on inside. I, for one, feel very alone inside...and that hurts. But we aren't alone. We have each other and together we are all going to support, encourage and help each other get through this mess.
So, EVERYONE, please take a deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Let's look at what's going on. I believe most everyone is looking for an escape. We all want it because RL is very stressful and complicated for most of us right now. RL is very difficult to manage and navigate, especially as we are moving away from a secret fantasy life that was much more comforting and fun than entertaining, baking, shopping, listening to endless renditions of Little Drummer Boy, etc., while

RIGHT ON SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RAISES GLASS, CLINK CLINK..........
Your REMINDER of the focus of ENDING THE HURT, Destruction and TOXICITY of an A - cannot come at a better time for ALL of US.
We are ENDERS. Our goal is to END the madness for OURSELVES.
I want to reinforce what you say about NO CONTACT. There's NO WAY to get the clarity to deal with the REAL ISSUES OF OUR OWN REASONS FOR shlepping into such a dysfunctional situation WITHOUT IT.
NC really does = NO NEW HURTS