A discovery

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
A discovery
9
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 10:49am

Merry Christmas Everyone,

I am taking a quick minute to post a discovery that I made yesterday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 12:53pm

Hey MC-

Its good to recognize triggers and see them as what you are looking for, not who.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 1:06pm

MC,

You made it through without contacting XAP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 9:30pm
Heartache,
Well then I do miss him bringing out those feelings of comfort. And I did make it through. I am glad I am starting to recognize triggers and can deal with them. Thanks for your explanation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 9:32pm
Thank you CSN for you hugs and comfort. There is so much love and support on EAS, I know I would be struggling without everyones help.
I hope your Christmas was happy and you spent it with those you love.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 9:37pm
It's like you run to fantasy land when real life is unbearable. When a RL mate acts mean towards us we look for validation from someone. I did exactly what you described for years. I used how my then H treated me as an excuse for my ugly behavior. AP was my escape from all types of abuse. I was abusing myself even more by engaging in a toxic A. Good that you recognized this trigger and got thru it on your own.
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2010
Sun, 12-26-2010 - 12:06am

M, that is fantastic! That is so great to know your trigger and rise above knowing how easy it would be to relieve that temporary pain with that more lasting heartache drug of choice (xAP).

Love, Sunshine Dedicated to living my new life with integrity, truth and positive thoughts! I am worthy of true love and definitely worth the wait!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Sun, 12-26-2010 - 9:10am
Luvin Me.. exactly the A is the fantasy world and I would run there when things were bad thinking I was being saved when it really made things worse in the long run.

Sunshine..Yes Im happy that i recognized the trigger and was able to avoid repeating the same bad habit over and over.
Thank you ladies for caring and for your support.

MC





iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Sun, 12-26-2010 - 12:38pm

Every time we make it through a trigger without

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Sun, 12-26-2010 - 11:39pm
That was a big trigger for me too - my H also struggles with alcohol addiction. When he would come home intoxicated, I just wanted an emotionally safe place to curl up into. My dad also struggled (past tense) with alcohol, so all those familiar childhood feelings were triggered each and every time. The co-dependence issues were killing me. Funny thing is, my xAP also had addiction issues - actually WAY WORSE, and yet it didn't bother me to the same extent because he was going home to become his W's problem. His addiction started to worsen while in the affair, of course, and this also fed into my decision to finally end things because I couldn't stand feeling responsible for yet another person's escalating self-harm, especially as he had children. I couldn't contribute any longer to what would come to destroy his children's sense of well-being like my own childhood had done.

Now, alcohol is a CONTROLLED substance in my home and that feels amazing. My children's home is alcohol free.

TU.