My husband - Trigger

Avatar for amy2778
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
My husband - Trigger
6
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 10:46am

This weekend I got a phone call from my husband saying he was in the hospital, because he wanted to kill himself. He is in the military and out of the country. His doctor has diagnosed him with type 1 bipolar, or something with a 1 and bipolar. I have a general understanding of bipolar, but really don't know what the different levels mean. He is getting help, but is still suicidal. He has someone in his room 24 hours a day watching him. We have a 1 year old daughter and a good marriage. I don't know how to help him. Everything I say seems to be the wrong thing. He doesn't even know what meds he's taking. He said the bipolar one starts with a D he thinks. The dr. is supposed to call me today so hopefully I'll find out more. I've always thought he had bipolar, but he never wanted to be treated for it because as a kid they had him on so many medications he was a zombie. Are there meds. that are able to help him have a normal life?

Thanks, Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 11:11am

Hi Amy and welcome...first of all, let me give you many hugs...and reassure you that things will be okay again...with time and patience...I know that isn't the easiest thing to hear right now, when you just NEED everything to be okay RIGHT NOW! But treatment for Bipolar can SOMETIMES be a bit tricky. The meds aren't an exact science, though we ALL wish they were. Your dh is probably taking Depakote. Its a first line mood stabilizer and works pretty quickly to stabilize someone in crisis. Let's pray that it works for him. Being in the hospital can be scary at first, I've been in 4 times myself...but its a SAFE environment to stabilize. When you're Bipolar (BP) your thoughts can be racing so quickly and mood can go from the extremes so quickly that you don't know HOW you are feeling...you can quite easily become suicidal. Be thankful your husband is where he is for now. Hopefully, he can get the help he needs.

You need to ensure that you take care of yourself, so you can help take care of him. Also, I can't say this enough...EDUCATION IS KEY! You have to know what you're dealing with. I've been doing this for years now, and I couldn't have done it without educating myself constantly about treatments, meds, doctors, therapies, mood swings between mania and depression, and of course all the in betweens. There are lots of good online resources...one good link is www.NAMI.org

Also, support is so incredibly helpful. For you and for him. Not necessarily support groups, but online support, supportive friendships, family support...whatever you're most comfortable with. I'd be totally lost without this board, and my family.

Please know that you are welcome to post here anytime. With any questions, or concerns you may have. We're here for you.

Hugs,

Keli

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 11:14am
oh yes...alot of the people here know alot more than i do.i actually just started seeing a dr. that is well versed(for lack of a better phrase)in the correct med combos for different disorders & that is really the key.finding the right & compassionate(meaning one who takes side effects into consideration & will help you avoid them)doctor.it took me a long time & a hard road to find him.he's also quite expensive.but that's just my case.but i am doing fine & i am not a zombie & i must tell you i was in horrible shape.the others here will give you similar success stories.i have to tell you i am not familiar with the different levels of bipolar tho.never heard of em.& if i did,i wasn't listening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 11:28am

Amy


Hi and Welcome !!!

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God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 11:51am

Amy.


Welcome to the board, I'm glad you found us, if not for the reason you did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 3:54pm
Amy, I was just diagnosed Bipolar type 2, I am on 3 medications and I am a nurse and work about 60 hours a week. I am much better on my medications, not the depression and the anger has not reared it's ugly head so much. It is funny to feel this way, calm.. he probably is on the wrong medications, maybe a second opinion?? Good luck
Avatar for amy2778
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 5:24pm
Thanks everyone. I just talked to him and he sounds better today. He said he actually slept last night. For over a month he was having awful nightmares and only sleeping a couple hours. They will be sending him to either VA or FL soon I believe. We live in IL, but I will figure out a way for my daughter and I to be with him. He says he doesn't want me to see him like he is, but I think it will help him to see us. What do you think? I don't know why he wants to go through this alone. He's worried now about the future because he will probably be released from the navy. I have a teaching degree so I can probably get a job, and he will probably get some money from the navy. I told him to worry about getting better, not about that. He also worries that I won't love him the same and I don't know how to reassure him that I love him more than ever. I've known for a while he needed some kind of medication to level him out, so I'm glad he's getting help. I think our relationship will be even better.