New here-trigger
Find a Conversation
New here-trigger
| Tue, 11-15-2005 - 8:39pm |
My SO had a psychotic break at the end of September and was hospitalized. He has been home for 2 weeks. We have an 18 month old daughter.
Since coming home if I don't comply with his desire to "simplify" or give away my pets or whatever the issue of the day is then he threatens to move out. I told him he had to stop doing it in front of our daughter. Today my SIL calls and say "I hear he's moving out." Oh really? So I confront him and he says yes. So I ask him if he wants me to pack his stuff while he's at work and he says "This is why I didn't tell you now your throwing me out."
Huh?
Now, after going to work, he doesen't want to move out. I just don't know if I can keep doing this or if it's even fair to my daughter to put her through this. At 18 months she cried all morning after hearing he was leaving. She has been sad, depressed and very needy all day.
I know this Bipolar thing just happened. We are still trying to get the meds right. He's on Lithium and Zyprexa. My question is, is there any chance my daughter is ever going to have a normal life? Am I going to be able to have a whole bunch of little kids over to play and for sleepovers someday or is it always going to be "too stressful" for her dad? Seriously, if there is no chance for her having a decent life I think I would rather cut my losses now. She is young enough to get over it and bond with someone else as her father if I meet someone down the road.
Am I just horrible for feeling this way about a sick person? I really am a mom who just wants to do what is right for our child.
Since coming home if I don't comply with his desire to "simplify" or give away my pets or whatever the issue of the day is then he threatens to move out. I told him he had to stop doing it in front of our daughter. Today my SIL calls and say "I hear he's moving out." Oh really? So I confront him and he says yes. So I ask him if he wants me to pack his stuff while he's at work and he says "This is why I didn't tell you now your throwing me out."
Huh?
Now, after going to work, he doesen't want to move out. I just don't know if I can keep doing this or if it's even fair to my daughter to put her through this. At 18 months she cried all morning after hearing he was leaving. She has been sad, depressed and very needy all day.
I know this Bipolar thing just happened. We are still trying to get the meds right. He's on Lithium and Zyprexa. My question is, is there any chance my daughter is ever going to have a normal life? Am I going to be able to have a whole bunch of little kids over to play and for sleepovers someday or is it always going to be "too stressful" for her dad? Seriously, if there is no chance for her having a decent life I think I would rather cut my losses now. She is young enough to get over it and bond with someone else as her father if I meet someone down the road.
Am I just horrible for feeling this way about a sick person? I really am a mom who just wants to do what is right for our child.

Hi and Welcome and big ((((((HUGS))))
It's not an easy situation, that is for sure.
I think you are the only one that can make this decision.
God could not be everywhere, so
Hello...first of all, WELCOME...we're glad you're here...you'll find much support and caring here and hopefully some answers to your questions...
I've been BP for as long as I can remember, but only dxed and medicated for 4 years now...I am just now getting stable...and I do mean, just now as in the last 2 months...I've been on every medication there is, and it takes a very long time to find the RIGHT combination of medications...sadly, there is not an exact science to this...if there were, we'd all be extremely happy!
I've had many instances in the past 4 years where I've wanted to just run away from it all...but I didn't...I don't know what the answer is for you...but you have to put YOU and YOUR DD first and foremost right now...not that you have to leave him, but you need to educate yourself about Bipolar Disorder, and you need a good therapist and support...those things are so crucial! I can't say it enough!
Yes, your dh is sick...but he also has no right to put you and your dd through all these changes...none of us do...there comes a point in our treatment and recovery that we MUST take responsibility for ourselves and our own illness...BP is a disorder, its not who we are! It doesn't define us...I will admit that it takes time to come that realization...right now your dh is going through so much inner turmoil that he may not even realize what he's doing.
I guess my advice to you is that you take care of YOU and DD first, continue to love and support him, but don't lose yourself in the process. Life CAN and will be good again and it can and will be normal again, if he puts forth the effort. But you can't do it for him. Its a long hard process, but it will happen.
I've continued to work a full time job, raise a teenage son, and live my life...
You aren't a bad person for having these feelings. Please know that. Its not going to be easy. But with the right education, support, meds, and effort, it will be good again.
Please feel free to ask anything, vent, talk about anything here...we relate, we know how it is...we live it every day.
Hugs,
Keli
Welcome to the board, I'm glad you found us, if not the circumstances of needing to.
Okay--you are not a bad person for wanting what is best for your child--quite the contrary you are commended to be thinking about her welfare, when it hurts like heck at the thought of having your SO leave.