Not well

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Not well
4
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 8:29am

Hi to all...sorry I've not been around much, but I've not been doing well at all, surprise surprise...

In a nutshell, I'm sick of everything...period. I am very depressed, in physical pain, very tired...

I'm tired of fighting, I don't want to do it anymore...what's the freaking point anyway? Nothing ever changes, no matter what I do. So why bother?

I have a lot of work to do today and I can't wake up enough, or get up enough energy to even think about getting started.

I sleep all the damn time as it is...

I don't want this life...anymore.

Avatar for missyflanders
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 8:32am

Keli - While I can't imagine the pain of what you are going through, I know you are a fighter. You have to keep fighting. Call your doctor and demand prednisone. Call your pdoc too if you have too. Do not give up. It is your RA talking now. Your BP may still be stable. Call the doctor and explain that you need help now not in a few months.

Gentle Hugs.

Missy

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 8:59am

(((((((((((((((((((((KELI))))))))))))))))))))))


I really wish there was something I could do or say to help you.


I would try the gp doc again and ask about the prednisone...never hurts to try...


love u

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 9:07am

Aw Keli, big ((((((hugs)))))) to you. I know how you feel, but fortunately for both of us I've got some energy to spare today and will do my best to pick you up a bit.

I posted my feelings about this last week, ready to freakin' give up. Not good at all. Can't take my life, the struggles, etc. But as we both know, this too shall pass. I slept the majority of the day yesterday and feel a bit more positive today, despite arriving at my office to a gigantic mess.

Trust that you have a higher power who will take care of you and get you thru these feelings. They're only feelings and they'll pass. Just do the best you can today and don't think about tomorrow, and it helps me to try not to project that I'm going to feel this way everyday for the rest of my life. You will have better days mixed in, trust me, you will. Heck, I'm sure you've seen that in your life anyway. Some good days, some days when you don't think you can go on another minute. But you hang in there until it passes, ok????

The difficult thing with BP is I don't think we really ever believe the down times will pass because they ARE so extreme. The good times never feel quite good enough to make up for the down times. We have so little control over how we feel, that all we can really do is hold on tight and try to ride it out until it passes.

Big hugs and lots of love to you, honey. I'm right next to you on this horrendous roller coaster ride. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 9:44am

(((((((keli)))))))) sweetie, i can't relate to the physical pain unfortunately. but i do know that you have an inner strength that is phenomenal! you have fought so hard and so long that yes, you are tired. there always seems (key word)