Random marriage thoughts
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Random marriage thoughts
| Tue, 12-28-2010 - 9:16pm |
EAS'ers,
I have been on constant thinking overload for the last 24 hours. Overwhelming and draining but I wanted to share some thoughts about this whole A stuff versus our marriages (for those who are married).
Random thoughts:
1) What is the purpose of M?? Are we meant to spend out whole lives with one person? I wish I had the answer but

Certainly many of us have the hope of growing old with someone we love and with whom we can count on to take care of us when we are ill. Who knows what that couple has been through in their 57 years together, you know? Surely it wasn't all a bowl of cherries, though.
History is very important as it reminds us of where we have been and mistakes that have been made. History also points a way to the future. History is important, but it isn't the glue that holds a marriage together.
I know you are going through an onslaught of emotions right now, and you are worried about your M and whether you are going to remain a faithful wife and whether you are settling for comfort rather than passion. I know because aIll these thoughts and a zillion more have run through my head over the past several weeks. I finally had to get out of my head for a while and realize there was no deadline to when I had to have all those questions answered. Just breathe and try to get comfortable with yourself. You've just had a major guilt-ridden, emotional upheaval. Just like the A, what you are going through now is a bit cloud covered.
Give yourself some more time, GMLB. You will find your answers.
Hugs,
~alwayst2
Your observation couple
GMLB
Interesting how some of us have experienced similar feelings and emotions. I too saw my H as a barrier to xAP. I blamed H for everytime I couldn't see xAP as planned or even if I chickened out - I blamed H. Looking back, of course I now realize I was the one to blame for all the angst and chaos, I created it. I ended the affair for many reasons, but one of them was I wanted to be married to my H and honor that marriage. I wanted to not only be true to H but to myself as well. I've been married for over 30 years. Today, I can't fathom throwing that away, just to be with JAM. And that JAM, didn't have a clue who I really was or who my children were. I shutter to think all that could have been destroyed because of my selfishness. Back to marriage. I think I've survived for these long years because deep down I wanted to. I wanted it all, kids, the house with the picket fence story - I got that and more. It wasn't until after I ended the affair, that I realized my marriage was what I really wanted. I'm now more than ever determined to complete my story. Sounds crazy, but I want to be the wife and mother that I always wanted to be but never believed I could. Well now I am. I can now look in the mirror and see who I really am. And believe me, it's not the poor lost soul who had the affair with her college sweetie.
Thank you so much for your post.
Great post GMLB! I think many of us can identify with these feelings and emotions.