back from tdoc

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
back from tdoc
2
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 1:30pm

i am so not in a good place right now. tdoc let me kind of go where i wanted to go and then somehow she managed to get me around to not only my dad, but also dd's biodad and that whole situation.


it wasn't a totally wasted hour though. i was able to identify some things that have been contributing to my depression but i couldn't pinpoint 'til now. like how dd feels towards me for keeping her from meeting biodad sooner, or even if she fully understands (which i'm not sure i do) why i didn't marry him when i had the chance. it could be guilt on my part or i might be picking up on something that she hasn't voiced yet. she meets with tdoc tonight and tdoc said we'd discuss it together, if i am up to it.


i also realized why biodad giving dd her first driving lesson was such a big deal to me personally. my dad gave me my first driving lesson and a lot of other things that a dad does as well.


i left there feeling extremely vulnerable, but before i left i gave her the one knife i still have in my possession. she was glad i did as she knows the next few months aren't easy for me at all.


just wanted to give you all an update. now i have to resolve myself to keeping it under control for work. for those of you who i won't "see" here until after the holiday, have a happy and safe Thanksgiving. thank you all for your love and support. i am definitely thankful for that.


love,


traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 1:39pm

oh Traci....I'm sure none of this feels good right now.

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God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 1:47pm

Donna's right...I think we've all btdt...the feeling guilt over some huge life decision...I know I do still to this day...but it cannot be changed, and so I go on...

Just get through the day...that's all you have to do right now...just get through today...

I know it SUCKS to hear, but it will get better...

Love and Hugs,

Keli