Tracey

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tracey
4
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 8:34am

Tracey,

Hey!!! Are you back at work??? How are you feeling??? How was Thanksgiving?

I'm so glad its over I don't know what to do!!!!!

I am okay, I guess...the weather here is yucky...rainy and dark...supposed to turn cold too...ick! its been on the warmer side for a week or so...

I can't wait for Wednesday, my payday...this was a bad month. Of course, I'll be broke again cuz I have to buy Christmas, but I'm not buying for anyone but my son.

I have to get all my meds too, I'm out of Lamictal and almost out of Topamax. Still have a bunch of Ativan left...am hardly taking it anymore. Still doing well on the BP front...my RA/Fibro is about the same, good days and bad. Nothing like it was the first 3 weeks though, thank God.

My son is about to drive me NUTS! He went with me to my mom's...we were there from Weds to yesterday...OMG...I thought I would lose whatever little bit of my mind I have left...I did get her Christmas tree put up and all that...and my Dad filled my car up with gas...its only $1.97 there!!!

The H word called me this morning! To see how my holiday was...and let me know he'd been thinking about me...and to tell you the truth, I'd been thinking about him too...but I didn't tell him...I'm being strong. I did tell him I missed the "old" days...but that they were gone, and things were sooooo different...

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi, tell you I miss you, and see how you were!!!

Love you

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 10:43am

Good morning!!!!!! Jeez, it seems like forever since I talked to you!! Sorry I didn't call your cell but the days have been a blur!

Yes, I am back at work today. Good and bad feelings about it. Desperately need the money (don't have the rent yet!) and nice to be back to doing something. Still, am in a little pain (went off the pain pills Friday night), not sleeping well, and feel cruddy overall. But I am doing better every day! The staples came out last Tuesday and they put me on another round of the steroids to help get the swelling down - which it has. That has been a double edged sword in itself - as the swelling goes down the nerves are kicking back in and that HURTS!!!! Plus it lets me feel all the pain in that area LOL! Hopefully it will be back to normal soon - dr says it will take a month to be back to normal.

Otherwise things are good. Thanksgiving was ok - was at Moms - I couldn't handle the traveling to WI, or the cost. No major drama. Savannah stayed at my moms after Thanksgiving until Saturday night. Of course, Sunday she woke up sick - my loser brother's son is a strep carrier and his family never takes care of it so it is fairly often that she gets it from being around him. So she is home today and going to the dr with Mike.

We are pretty much settled now on one of the last 2 weekends in April for the wedding...just a heads up :)

Saw Harry Potter. We both were incredibly disappointed and upset by it. Was NOT worth the money we felt. It was an AWESOME movie in it's own rights, yes, but as an adaptation of the book we felt it sucked.

I'm glad things are overall going ok for you. I am not going to comment on the H word except to say be careful.

Anyway, have to get back to work. Will talk to you soon!

Love
Tracey

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 10:57am

I've totally learned the H word lesson, trust me...

Hopefully, the month will go by quickly, and you will be back to normal again!

OMG!!! April is absolutely PERFECT!!! YAY! I CANNOT WAIT!!! I'll sooooooo be counting the days...how incredibly exciting...something to look forward to...

I have a ton of work to do today, but I really haven't done a whole lot yet...my fingers have decided to start hurting...probably the rainy, cold weather...I'll do something in a bit, I guess...

That sucks about Savannah being sick...its always something, isn't it?

Did Tonya call you back yet???

Love you - K

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 12:45pm

I'm with you hoping the month goes by quickly - just so I can sleep somewhat normal again. I don't think I got more then 1 hour last night....and MAN can I tell today. I honestly don't think I will make 8 hours today.

I know you have learned your lesson with H, but I also know that you would love for you to be friends and I worry that he will find a way to try and manipulate you.

When is your RA/Fibro appt?

I am scheduled to see pdoc next week - have to call the new insurance and make sure I can still see him. BLAH. Will be an interesting appt. He has NO idea about everything going on with me since late Aug!

Tanya has NOT called me, nor do I expect her to. I don't quite understand what happened, but I guess I am not suppose to. I've pretty much let it go and I KNOW that one day she will pop back. I don't know yet if I will accept her back at that point though.

I'm glad your Turkey day wasn't bad - and I am sure Mike was getting on your nerves by the time you got home LOL!!

Anyway, back to the grind :)

Love
Tracey

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 1:08pm

He called again, twice in the last about 20 minutes and I didn't answer the phone...he has training all afternoon, so I won't talk to him anymore today...I know, I know...we BOTH do the manipulating thing so well with each other and I'm still trying to break out of that habit...I could SO use him right now...and I'm not going to do it...btdt and it only caused too much hurt for both of us.

I hope you will go home and try to rest if you need to. I know it SUCKS not being able to sleep.

Mom just called me and said my Dad was mad at her...cuz he cooked some omelet and she said she didn't like it...so, he pouted and slammed stuff around...I swear, she can grate on your nerves, but he acts like a freaking martyr and a dang child sometimes. I know she can drive you nuts, but for chrissakes look at her situation. Anyone would be aggravating in that situation. He said this past weekend he wishes sometimes he could go on vacation forever...he makes me sick sometimes...GET OVER IT ALREADY!

Time to kick that assertiveness back into high gear...I've had it...my moods are starting to swing again when I talk to them, when I go there...I will NOT be affected by them again...in my opinion sometimes, I think she'd be better off leaving him, moving here and living in an assisted living facility on her own...but it will never happen, unless he does something stupid...at which point I will kill him.

She asked me if I was depressed, and I said no...she said well, you don't have much to say anymore...and she's right, I don't...and I just NOW realized it...I'm starting to let the situation with my parents affect me in SO many ways again...I am not enjoying MY OWN LIFE, because I'm always worried about them...worried about whether or not my Dad is going to leave her...whether or not she is happy...and I CANNOT DO IT. Period. I feel very selfish and guilty and those are NOT feelings I can afford to have.

I need a break...a REAL break...some fun...some ME time...

I guess maybe I am sorta on the brink of being depressed...but I'm out of Lamictal...have been for a few days now...so once I get back on that, I'll be okay again...

I am supposed to go to pdoc tomorrow...I don't have the copay til the next day, but I'm going anyway...I'll get charged if I don't go, so I might as well and then I'll pay the day after...oh well, they'll get over it...

I just wanna go home and go to bed...I didn't get much rest at all since Weds. night...and I didn't sleep good last night either...I hate being so tired and whacked out all the time...

I'm really sorry Tanya hasn't called...that sucks bad...you'd be justified in not taking her back in, but that's something you'll have to decide at that particular point in time, no sense worrying about it right now...

Don't you overdo it today...

Love,

k.