Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Traci
5
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 9:12am

Morning Sunshine !!!


How are you?

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God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: cl_igemini53182
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 1:04pm

hi donna. just got back from pdoc. he increased

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: cl_igemini53182
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 2:31pm

Hi Traci...many hugs and much love...all you can do right now is be good to yourself...and wait on the meds to kick in...it sucks, big time...but we can hope and pray and we won't EVER give up...okay? We've come this far...and we'll go the distance.

You hang in there...rest, GOOD rest is so very important right now. How are you sleeping? Did pdoc not change anything else? I'm hoping the Depakote increase kicks in really fast and you feel better very soon.

Keep talking...don't disappear on us...that's the worst thing you can do! Isolating is NOT allowed. TALK TALK TALK! Even if you just say you feel like CRAP! SAY IT!

We're here for you and we won't let you go through this alone.

Love you

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
In reply to: cl_igemini53182
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 4:14pm

wish there was something I could do......


I hope the meds work quickly too !!!


hang in there

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God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: cl_igemini53182
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 5:22pm

thanks keli. the depakote was all pdoc changed. i'm sleeping a lot and have been for a while now. that's initially why i tapered way down on the trileptal. pdoc thought that was causing it. i don't think it was now though. who knows.


i'm ready to chuck all my meds at this point. it's like they say 'you can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em.' i ran into trouble tuesday night, but tossed the item the next day. i'm just fed up with it all. i know i have to stay in it for my kids. but i just get so tired of feeling like this. if i have to be one or the other, i'll choose my manic episodes any day of the week. but they are few and far between anymore since i started on all these blasted meds. oh well.


thanks for being here and being such a good friend and so supportive.


love you


traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: cl_igemini53182
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 7:50am

I must admit that I would choose to be manic over depressed any day of the week too...its that manic high that gets so addicting...it lulls us into believing we are who we ARE NOT...and that person we are not is who we WISH WE WERE! We get it so easily, but imagine what those around us think? lol...true Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde...

I so totally know what you mean about your meds...but you can't give up now...period...so get rid of those thoughts in your head completely...if we could all just give up, we so would have by now!!! Because giving up is the easy thing to do...we could just go back to being manic crazy with a few depressions that don't last too long thrown in for good measure...its not reality, though...

I wish it were almost every day. Its not easy...this being stable thing...but I remember back to when I was off the wall manic and the horrible things I did...yes, I had a freaking blast...I thought I was the best thing in the whole world EVER and for a while there, I was...but I hurt so many people...I messed so many things up in my life...as much as I want to EVERY day, I can't EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER go back...which means meds, forever. It sucks, yes...but it is what it is...ya know?

Anyway, I just wanted you to know I totally understand where you are...just wish you didn't have to be there...hang in there...again.

Love you