What do you do when...Major Trigs
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| Wed, 11-30-2005 - 6:19pm |
...you don't want to live but you don't want to die either? I have been playing by the rules and getting beaten down at every turn. Today was the final straw. I saw my therapist and we discussed events that have been ongoing and I told her that I was just out of steam. I had no more fight left in me. She advised me to make a phone call to a person who could help me with my legal situation and, as I've exhausted all other possibilities on that front, I did what she advised. What was on the other end of the phone? The lawyers assistant curtly told me the lawyer doesn't take those kinds of cases and told me to have a nice day. That was it. The final brick wall. I have called my therapist, but I know that she is with clients until late tonight and I just don't know what to do or who to turn to. It has been a very long time since I have had these feelings only now they are worse than ever. These feelings and the thoughts that go with them have me scared.
Thank you for listening.
MauiMomma

Hello! Your thoughts should be taken very seriously. BP makes us very impulsive. Please go to the ER if they get worse or continue for much longer.
I'm really sorry you're struggling so much. Hang on, it gets better. This is only an EPISODE and is not how it will be forever. You have to remember that.
Stay in touch with your doctors and therapists and if you're really hopeless and scared, you must go to the ER. Please.
We're here for you.
Hugs,
Keli
I agree with Keli...and man I have so been there before !!
God could not be everywhere, so
Oh honey, hang in there. I posted very similar feelings a few weeks ago. I was having a biopsy done, and it occurred to me that I really and truly didn't care what the results were, and that if it was cancer I wasn't going to bother to treat it because, as you said, I didn't care whether I lived or died.
I have extreme challenges in my life as well and many days feel like I'm all outta "fight." I'm not familiar with your story, but please feel free to repeat it for me. Sometimes it helps just to vent it all out.
Sorry about the experience you had with your lawyer. I'm an attorney, and I try to keep a list of referrals for folks who call and I can't help because I don't practice in that area. There are some tremendously loving and caring attorneys in the world (I'm one of them) but there are also some egotistical snooty ones. Please keep trying until you get a good one. Incidentally, if you live in my state I'd be happy to try to help you track down one of the good guys.
Please hang in there. I promise you, it will get better. I was getting thru the day by the skin of my teeth a few weeks and I'm actually feeling much better now. I take it day by day. Don't discount that tomorrow may be the day you wake up feeling good. Love you, Mo.
Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. My children have been my main reason for not doing anything in regards to the thoughts I have been having. I have just reached the point where I do not feel as though I am doing them any good by being here either. While the thought of them going to live with their dad pains me greatly, I just don't see how I can continue to raise them competently.
My therapist returned my call last night and talked to me for a while. I just feel as though I am wasting everybody's time. She told me that she would call this lawyer, as she knows her personally, and see what she could find out on my behalf. And then she told me to call her anytime, even if it was in the middle of the night, if I ran into crisis. I do not want to be a burden anymore though. I want to feel better and I just do not see that happening. I am lost and cannot find my way back.
Mo, I am not sure where you are but I am located in Virginia. I need an attorney who handles child support increase cases. My story is lengthy, and I will try to post it again in a bit. Right now, I just don't have the energy. Sorry.
Thank you again,
MauiMomma
I know you feel like a burden and don't want to call tdoc in the middle of the night...BUT SHE OFFERED !!!
God could not be everywhere, so