cant deal

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
cant deal
5
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 6:05pm

I cant deal...trying not to lose my mind and nothing is working. Recently, I lost my job which was more like a career, my apt, my family is nowhere to be found and friends are tired of dealing with me. I was on meds, but now with no insurance, i cant afford them.

Im in a new apt that i can barely afford on unemployment and the job propsects are bleak..My psuedo boyfriend comes and goes as he pleases and I find myself trying to please him when he is around, althought i know that he always has one foot out the door.

Essentially, what i am saying is that there is not one place in my life that has stability. I get into these great moods when I go out looking at art..then something happens that brings me back down to a crawl..

i cant deal...please, someone say something...all i want is normalcy, something that i can hold on to that will make me stand up straight for once in months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: missyfoosy
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 2:17pm
Please ask your doctor for samples, they give them so many! Also if you ask there is a place where you can get help sometimes if you meet certain criteria.. so please call them and explain.
Keep coming to the board for support!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: missyfoosy
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 2:50pm

i will tell you what everyone has told me. it will and does get better. unfortunately i cannot say when. there are plenty of ladies here that have been where you are and bounce back. i'm sure others here can help you out. i just want you to know you are definitely not alone.


i wish i had more to offer, but i'm in a really dark place right now. so, post here as much as you need and they will listen and support.


traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: missyfoosy
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 7:43am

Hey there...I've been there...and it DOES get better...what I had to do, is go inpatient to get stabilized...they work with you there, on meds management when you get out if you don't have insurance...pdocs DO give samples, too...that's why they have them...now may be the perfect time for you to consider the hospital...you're at rock bottom, there's no job to go to...it saved me, more than once to be honest...its scary at first, but its an option.

Otherwise, you CAN do this...its not easy, especially without meds, but you have to wake up every day and fight like crazy to get out of bed, and be positive...ha ha, you're saying, i can hear you saying it...it helps too, if you can do it.

We are here, we do understand...talking here at this board, and with the support of the wonderful friends I've made here, has saved my life. So please feel free to post as much as you need to, about whatever you need to.

Love and Hugs,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: missyfoosy
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 8:52am

Like its not bad enough to be BP, but to have your life falling apart around you. I'm so sorry, honey. I've BTDT. This summer, in fact. It triggered a horrible manic episode. Like you, I couldn't say that one "part" of my life was going okay. Everything was in turmoil and I had truly given up. Please hang in there, it will get better. I promise you that. Somehow or other, when we very least expect it, something happens and things get better. It's waiting out there for you, I know it is. You just can't see it right now.

I've been in recovery for addiction for a few years now and we have a saying: don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle happens.

I give you credit. From your post it appears that you're still trying; i.e. going out to look at art. The more time you spend doing positive things - even if it seems to all crash around you as soon as you return to reality - the better the chance that you'll be able to pull yourself out of this. You'll see the miracle when it comes, because its clear that you want to be out of this state of mind.

Hang in there and please give us updates. Love you! Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
In reply to: missyfoosy
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 1:10pm

thank you everyone for your wonderful replies...and as you all know, i had a series of wonderful days followed by a really bad one...god...i cant stand it.

i will continue to post and I thank you all, this REALLY did help me get through that night and i am sure, many more like it

melissa