Miss my Ex
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Miss my Ex
| Tue, 12-06-2005 - 3:48pm |
Hi Everyone - I miss my ex-husband so much right now. I have been divorced for about 2 years now. After I got diagnosed with being Bipolar and started gaining weight due to the medication my husband dropped me off at my parents and said good luck and see you in the next lifetime. During our separation, I asked if he ever cared about me and he said that he cared about me in the sense that he hoped I never got ran over by a bus (ouch!!!). I have been living with my parents ever since. I guess I don't necessarily miss my ex-husband, I miss the companionship. His friends were my friends so once we got divorced I lost all my friends and I haven't really made any new ones. I get real nervous around other men because of my weight and mental health issues. I think I miss him because of the holidays. We got engaged on Christmas Eve so the holidays were always special. My husband was always very domineering and demanding. I'm not perfect I'm to blame for the divorce too. It hurt me so deeply that the man I loved for almost 8 years could just throw me away like I was garbage. I tried everything to please him and it was never enough. Once we found out I was Bipolar, it was his way out of the marriage because I was "crazy". He blames me for everything that went wrong. My therapist says that he is poision to me and that I am better off without him. Maybe she's right. He has told all of his friends and everybody we ever knew that I'm Bipolar and crazy and that's why we got divorced. It's so embarassing. It's as if he did nothing wrong. The fact that he was addicted to pornography and would look at it for hours on the computer appearently was normal and didn't contribute to the failure of our marriage. The fact that he would play video games for hours on end, didn't clean or cook to save his life or would demand things sexually from me didn't contribute at all to the failure of our marriage. When I first started writing this I was missing him....now I'm just angry for what he has done to me. I guess I needed to vent. Thank you for listening - Jena

Jena
just wanted to give you (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
God could not be everywhere, so
Jena...honey...your therapist is right...poison! Though I have other words I wish I could say right now about him...loser!
You miss only the companionship, like you said. The holidays bring this out for you.
No matter what your weight, or your illnesses, and listen to me really well here...
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Don't ever let a man, or anyone for that matter, tell you any differently. You have survived a turmoil that not many people can survive...you're kind, compassionate, and strong. That is what makes a person beautiful...not our weight. We've all gained weight due to the STUPID MEDS! Don't feel alone in that.
You're amazing and I love you. I'm sorry you had to go through that with your ex-loser husband. He is missing out on something beautiful and it serves him right.
You hang in there...the person that was meant FOR YOU will come along when you least expect it...be patient and enjoy life right now as it comes.
We love you here, and we accept YOU as the beautiful, kind, loving woman that you are.
Keli