No I have not talked to my p/tdoc yet. I was supposed to see her this past Monday but weather was so bad here that I was not comfortable driving so I see her this coming Monday.
I'm a master at deceiving the outside world. I've done it my whole life so very seldom do I lose control of it no matter how bad it is. I feel like it's that deep dark ugly evil depression swirling around in there. Another thing I'm good at, being descriptive, my t/pdoc love that about me, makes things easier. I know that non-bp & bp alike, all humans, feel this from time to time but that doesn't make it feel any better for me. Some of the time would be acceptable but when it's this deep and dark I get uncomfortable with it. I'm withdrawing from my friends simply because I know how unpredictable I am and don't want to do something I will regret later.
Meds, I don't even know what she is going to do. I am resisting upping my meds simply because I hate the darn things and to take more just annoys the stuffing out of me. I've been very combative for a couple of months now so raising logic with me just doesn't work at this point. I'm aware of my issues but I"m not sure why I don't change them. I think that is the bpd speaking. Feeling anger, depression, whatever, is better than feeling nothing at all.
oh hon..I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time right now...I think there are people here who can relate.
God could not be everywhere, so
Hi Donna,
No I have not talked to my p/tdoc yet. I was supposed to see her this past Monday but weather was so bad here that I was not comfortable driving so I see her this coming Monday.
I'm a master at deceiving the outside world. I've done it my whole life so very seldom do I lose control of it no matter how bad it is. I feel like it's that deep dark ugly evil depression swirling around in there. Another thing I'm good at, being descriptive, my t/pdoc love that about me, makes things easier. I know that non-bp & bp alike, all humans, feel this from time to time but that doesn't make it feel any better for me. Some of the time would be acceptable but when it's this deep and dark I get uncomfortable with it. I'm withdrawing from my friends simply because I know how unpredictable I am and don't want to do something I will regret later.
Meds, I don't even know what she is going to do. I am resisting upping my meds simply because I hate the darn things and to take more just annoys the stuffing out of me. I've been very combative for a couple of months now so raising logic with me just doesn't work at this point. I'm aware of my issues but I"m not sure why I don't change them. I think that is the bpd speaking. Feeling anger, depression, whatever, is better than feeling nothing at all.
Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,
Danielle
Host of Tuesday Night Anxiety, Panic & Phobia's Chat 7 - 9 pm MST
"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." --Unknown
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Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,