what my **** husband did
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what my **** husband did
| Tue, 12-13-2005 - 7:08am |
last night i'm glad my family was here to witness it b/c i told my mother it was the final straw in my awful marraige.
you know i haven't been doing well.
also my current docs are the 1st good ones i have had since the age of 16.
it's difficult where i live to find mental health that is good that takes insurance.
so it is expensive.
last night my h told me that i am not sticking to the rules(???)
i am seeing my docs too often.
it was supposed to be once a month.
& from now on i have to see them after his payday.i explained that the doc only works in brooklyn on tuesdays & i won't be seeing him once a month till i'm stabilized which i surely am not.as for the tdoc,she allows me to pay every 2 weeks & to postdate my checks.
i have taken alot of my own personal savings to pay for some of the doc but my h happens to make alot of money my kids go to public school & i do not spend any.
a while ago w/ my last therapist i collected receipts so that my h could get a percentage back from the insurance company.he never did.i've been doing the same with my docs this time & i never asked him if he's been doing it b/c as i told my mother if he said no or lied about it,i don't think i could stand to have him in the house anymore.
alot of things in our life are like that.our car car's inspection is not current but he has a story for that & forbids me to park on the street.
i can't take it anymore.
do you think he wants to keep me sick?
when i told him that he was telling me that i had to go in today & discuss w/ my doc at the worst time for me emotionally terminating treatment....he said...you're so black or white susan...it doesn't have to be that way...just tell him you can't come till next month....WTF....what makes ME so special?i'm having a nervous breakdown & my h wants me to give my doc directions?....i called the outcome too.a half hour later he asked for hugs & kisses.
tonite he'll demand i not be mad at him.
you know i haven't been doing well.
also my current docs are the 1st good ones i have had since the age of 16.
it's difficult where i live to find mental health that is good that takes insurance.
so it is expensive.
last night my h told me that i am not sticking to the rules(???)
i am seeing my docs too often.
it was supposed to be once a month.
& from now on i have to see them after his payday.i explained that the doc only works in brooklyn on tuesdays & i won't be seeing him once a month till i'm stabilized which i surely am not.as for the tdoc,she allows me to pay every 2 weeks & to postdate my checks.
i have taken alot of my own personal savings to pay for some of the doc but my h happens to make alot of money my kids go to public school & i do not spend any.
a while ago w/ my last therapist i collected receipts so that my h could get a percentage back from the insurance company.he never did.i've been doing the same with my docs this time & i never asked him if he's been doing it b/c as i told my mother if he said no or lied about it,i don't think i could stand to have him in the house anymore.
alot of things in our life are like that.our car car's inspection is not current but he has a story for that & forbids me to park on the street.
i can't take it anymore.
do you think he wants to keep me sick?
when i told him that he was telling me that i had to go in today & discuss w/ my doc at the worst time for me emotionally terminating treatment....he said...you're so black or white susan...it doesn't have to be that way...just tell him you can't come till next month....WTF....what makes ME so special?i'm having a nervous breakdown & my h wants me to give my doc directions?....i called the outcome too.a half hour later he asked for hugs & kisses.
tonite he'll demand i not be mad at him.

Honey...I'm sorry! Susan, you have been soooo unhappy in your marriage for a LONG time now...but you feel trapped to be in it. Its a really bad situation and I wish there were something I could do to help you. You should NOT be FORBIDDEN to do anything...H is manipulating you because of your illness and maybe he IS trying to keep you sick because of that very fact...so he CAN manipulate you. This borders on abuse. You know that already, so I won't preach to you on that.
You know I care...and I know some of the history here...I wish you strength today...stand up on YOUR OWN TWO FEET and do what you feel is right. Do NOT let him manipulate you today. Just today. Let's worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.
I'm here, if you want to talk more, okay?
Love and Hugs,
Keli
I'm so sorry you are going thru this...how can it be your fault if your dh doesn't follow thru on things?
God could not be everywhere, so
i took my mother's advice & only pretended to be listening.