he's gone too far now - triggers!
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| Wed, 12-14-2005 - 12:02pm |
if dealing with xh at the hospital wasn't bad enough.........when i came home from my acupuncture appt (which actually left me feeling a little more relaxed anyway), guess who was in the house?! xh! playing the concerned father once again.
well, this didn't sit well with me but what could i do? ds is only 9 and doesn't understand anything other than his dad came to see him. so i had to leave it alone. then xh crossed the final line. he TOLD me i'm not getting one of my 2 checks from him this month!
i have to get a lawyer and i'm going through the phone book one more time from a to friggin z in hopes that maybe i missed one before. if i can't get this taken care of it won't be good. i know it, tdoc knows it, everyone knows it. i am at the end of my rope. i had wanted to get my at least my meds stable before i had to do the court thing simply because of my emotional state right now. i'm not up to going into a court room. but now i am forced to do so and i'm feeling so many different things right now it's scary. i've talked to tdoc and am continuing



hon...I'm going to say what I keep saying....you are letting him get the best of you.
God could not be everywhere, so
Traci,
I agree with Donna 100%. Sometimes its just easier on us to blame them and blame them and blame them for things they do and never look at our reactions to them. Remember this, YOU have your children and he doesnt. Money or no money, you have what really matters in the end. So even if you go to court and nothing goes in your favor you still win. You can handle this, I know you can.
You are going to school and working and living at home with your mom and dealing with XH's bullcorn and having the BP and SI and everything else on top of you and now with DS, and you are still here and still have enough fight in you to even call a lawyer in the first place, you arent going to give up, because if you were, you wouldnt have done this much already. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger, I know its cliche' but trust me its the truth.
My XH had Mulitple Personality Disorder and was a drug addict and alcoholic and tried to kidnap my children TWICE, by the time I was eh...22. So I know what its like to have to go through crap and hate that your kids suffer because men are retards...but it will get better. Sooner or later you will finish school, get a better job, the kids will get older, you will move out of your mom's house and have your own life and look at all this and say "I am so glad thats over, but look what I learned from it" and you will be a better person for it. You are a fighter, dont let him beat you.
Love
Rebekah
you're both right. i can't say anymore than that.
traci
they are both right...and you HAVE to get yourself together and FIGHT this...you don't have any other choice...you will STOP giving xh control over YOU and YOUR emotional state! You have to! If you don't, he WILL win.
Get it together and fight.
You're already the winner, though...don't you see that???
He's a loser dad...a loser husband obviously...ds will come to see that...whether or not you even get any money isn't even the question here...yes, it will help you financially right now...but if it didn't, you will STILL make it...
He's already lost out on so much that you gained.
Don't let him win further.
Think outside of the box...I know you can do that...
Love you
i don't know how to get it together anymore. that's just it. the whole thing with xh was timing and i know that. and i also know that until i take action he will keep doing it because he's just that way.
it's beyond any words i can say at this point. he's going to continue doing what he wants. i need to accept it and
Hang in there...we'll talk later. What is your AOL thingy? I couldn't remember last night...
Love you
i'm hanging as best i can. weather sucks bad today and
of course you're not wasting anyone's time...that's BP talking...just like it was talking to me yesterday...BP wants us so much to feel JUST THAT WAY! So we won't fight it...
Don't cancel tdoc appts...besides, she wouldn't let you, even if you tried...
When you get in with pdoc, and get your meds straightened out, some of this pressure will alleviate. But you gotta hang in with it, until it does.
Ice storms HAVE to suck...I don't know anything about them, but I know how much I hate anything even related to being cold. UGH!
Talk to you tonight...