I'm back...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
I'm back...
3
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 8:07am

So, I went home yesterday...cried all the way home...took Seroquel and Ativan on the way there...I was THAT bad...when I got there, dh had brought my comfy blanket and pillows down to the couch and turned off the lights and gave me the remote and a hug and didn't make me talk at all...which was SOOO what I needed...I took more Seroquel, ate something, and went to sleep...woke up, watched old movies on t.v., went up to my room, took another nap...then I came back downstairs for a while...dh has fixed the computer, so I got online for a while, but realized I don't know anyones AOL/AIM screename or email address, so I couldn't do much! But then I got off there, called my mom briefly, went and picked up my ds from his friend's house, came back home, emailed my dh about what was going on with me...for some reason, I do so much better "talking" through email. Then I went to my room and went to sleep. I feel better today. The depression is still there...but not nearly as bad, as long as I don't let myself THINK too much.

I got a credit to my account that I'd been waiting a month for, so that was something positive finally. DH emailed me this morning and reassured me that I'm not a bad mom...that ds has to buckle down and get his sh*t together, that he demands respect, and there has to be consequences or that ds is going to end up in a bad place in life...that it has to start at home...that he doesn't blame me and i shouldn't blame myself...that we've had lots of bad luck in 2005, but that it will get better. That we're going to budget our money better, he's going to work a lot more...and we're going to be okay. That he knows how hard my life must be dealing with everything I deal with and that he will always be by my side to take care of me and love me.

I really do have the best dh...

So anyway, just wanted to let you know that I'm feeling a little better, and I am trying to be as positive as I can...to try to fight it today. Stupid BP. Still hate it...lol.

My mom isn't doing well...but there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. So I have to just deal with it and not stress over it.

Stress is going to kill me, but only if I allow it to.

I will NOT go i/p, period. BTDT 4 times, and I will never let that happen again. If this had been any time in the past, yesterday woulda put me there...I call that major progress.

I love you all...your support is amazing.

Now, can you all either IM me tonight, put me on your buddy list or email me on AOL???????? I'm kelir003...

xoxo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
In reply to: keli003
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 8:19am

Glad to hear you are doing better. What a wonderful dh. And he's right!

*hugs*



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
In reply to: keli003
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 10:01am

you do have a wonderful dh !!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
In reply to: keli003
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 4:59pm

I am so glad you are better!!! I almost lost it today, I took my last final, that I have studied the material for almost 3 weeks, and EVERYTHING I studied was not on the test, I was doing eeny meeny miney mo to pick answers. I was sooooo upset that I cried for like 10 minutes. Ugh. Oh well at least my semester is over!! YAY!

I just downloaded AIM, I am not sure what it is, but it said I could do instant messaging for free, so I guessed it was like yahoo messenger. My screenname for it is Inky3405. So ya'll add me to your buddy lists k? :)

Rebekah

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