donna - i wish i was as amazing as you think. i'm not though and after last night i know that.
i have to face tdoc later this afternoon to turn in the rest of my 'things' because i had held some back. last night i used them as a means of punishment because of something i did and until last did not realize it.
i'm an awful person for what i did and don't deserve what i have in myu life. my kids deserve better and they're stuck with me. that is so not fair to them.
I am here. Really, really tired today. I was up with Laura until 4 am when she finally stopped vomitting. We are both exhausted. I haven't allowed her to eat, but she is taking in fluids and keeping them down.
Traci, you are not a bad person!! We all do things we arent proud of, but if you sat down and listed all the bad things youve done and all the good things(counting every breakfast,pair of jeans bought,etc.) that you have done in your life, you would come out smelling like roses. I am so sorry that everything is going so crappy right now, we all love you and want you to pull through this. Dont give up, your kids need you if nothing else. Thats all that ever kept me going, was the thought of them being with XH or my mom.
Cyn, I cant even imagine what its like to be in your shoes. I will be praying that everything goes well for you and your DH and your girls. Keep your chin up and think positive!
Donna, I am so glad to hear you are in a good mood. How did the secret santa thing go?
Keli, I am glad you are doing good too :)
Patti, Im glad to see you are doing well this week
Missy, I hope things get better soon, you still have a few days to make that Christmas happy! You aren't super depressed which is good. Try getting some exercise, it makes me have a little hypomania, which is a good thing for me. It might just help your mood overall.
As for me, eh Im alright. Ive been cycling like a nutcase. But I am not taking my meds right now either, so thats probably why. DH and I decided that enough is enough with my family and until they seriously make some effort to change their behavior then we arent bringing the kids around them, which means I have to mail the gifts for the kids gift exchange, since I cant go to my sisters house without her starting a fight with me. Which I think is pretty sad, but whatever. DH is being awesome. We are negative $200 in the bank. DH still hasnt gotten any information about that supervisor job at work, which means that after Saturday he will be officially unemployed again. Lovely isnt it? So I am depressed but not to the point of not getting out of bed, I feel like that mentally, but I am not doing it, so thats a step in the right direction. I have an appt with pdoc tomorrow, but I dont see why I should go...I havent taken the meds like she wants me to because of finals last week and everything, so its pretty pointless, and I cant afford it either. Ugh! I know it will get better eventually though
I'm doing OK. Getting a bit restless right now though. I've saved up enough money for my plane ticket to England, but the more I think about it, the more I'm afraid that my plans are going to fall through. I don't have a plan B because this is the only thing I want. I'm seriously scared right now because it feels like if it does go through, plan B might end up being something dangerous. I need to get away quick. I can't stand my life right now. I'm trapped. If I'm still here in 2007, chances are I won't make it anywhere.
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************triggers*******************
donna - i wish i was as amazing as you think. i'm not though and after last night i know that.
i have to face tdoc later this afternoon to turn in the rest of my 'things' because i had held some back. last night i used them as a means of punishment because of something i did and until last did not realize it.
i'm an awful person for what i did and don't deserve what i have in myu life. my kids deserve better and they're stuck with me. that is so not fair to them.
traci
God could not be everywhere, so
Missy
I'm so sorry you are having a had time right now....how about you don't try too hard for the Merry
God could not be everywhere, so
Hi Donna,
I am here. Really, really tired today. I was up with Laura until 4 am when she finally stopped vomitting. We are both exhausted. I haven't allowed her to eat, but she is taking in fluids and keeping them down.
(((((((((((((((((for everyone)))))))))))))
Traci, you are not a bad person!! We all do things we arent proud of, but if you sat down and listed all the bad things youve done and all the good things(counting every breakfast,pair of jeans bought,etc.) that you have done in your life, you would come out smelling like roses. I am so sorry that everything is going so crappy right now, we all love you and want you to pull through this. Dont give up, your kids need you if nothing else. Thats all that ever kept me going, was the thought of them being with XH or my mom.
Cyn, I cant even imagine what its like to be in your shoes. I will be praying that everything goes well for you and your DH and your girls. Keep your chin up and think positive!
Donna, I am so glad to hear you are in a good mood. How did the secret santa thing go?
Keli, I am glad you are doing good too :)
Patti, Im glad to see you are doing well this week
Missy, I hope things get better soon, you still have a few days to make that Christmas happy! You aren't super depressed which is good. Try getting some exercise, it makes me have a little hypomania, which is a good thing for me. It might just help your mood overall.
As for me, eh Im alright. Ive been cycling like a nutcase. But I am not taking my meds right now either, so thats probably why. DH and I decided that enough is enough with my family and until they seriously make some effort to change their behavior then we arent bringing the kids around them, which means I have to mail the gifts for the kids gift exchange, since I cant go to my sisters house without her starting a fight with me. Which I think is pretty sad, but whatever. DH is being awesome. We are negative $200 in the bank. DH still hasnt gotten any information about that supervisor job at work, which means that after Saturday he will be officially unemployed again. Lovely isnt it? So I am depressed but not to the point of not getting out of bed, I feel like that mentally, but I am not doing it, so thats a step in the right direction. I have an appt with pdoc tomorrow, but I dont see why I should go...I havent taken the meds like she wants me to because of finals last week and everything, so its pretty pointless, and I cant afford it either. Ugh! I know it will get better eventually though
Rebekah
hm...I'm not remembering anything about going to England, I'm sorry.
I hope you get in a better place soon.
God could not be everywhere, so
It was the woman next to me...I work very close with her, so it was extra special.
I got the new Kenny Chesney cd...can't remember if I mentioned that earlier in the post.
God could not be everywhere, so
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