need advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2005
need advice?
7
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 9:37pm
I post a message like this one on the anxiety board, but after doing a lot of research i read that if you have bipolar then anxiety/panic disorder can progress without help. well i was diagnosed with bipolar at 18 but everyone in my family knew i was bi-polar since i was 13, i was a very rebellious teenager/drug addict. anyway's i am 20 years old now and have a 10 month old beautiful baby boy. when i was diagnosed they put me on limital (SP), it did not help i had no feelings. i felt very empty. well then i got pregnant with my son and even thought the doctors said to try the limtal again but i did not want to be on any med. while being pregnant. so now my bipolar has gotten worse, i have episodes almost every other day and they last longer...mostly manic but some depression too. i am scared because i will blow up at my husband for no reason and throw things. i tried to get help but because i have no Medicaid that is hard as my husband isn't rich. i think the only option is to go in-patient into a hospital. i don't know what to do any advice would help, i heard fish oil helps with exercise. thanks for reading.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
In reply to: mom_steph001
Sat, 12-31-2005 - 7:49am

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

First off, let me say that fish oil can help. I have been taking three fish oils a day for a few years now.

And, try to get some sort of coverage! I think most states will try to help people w/ mental disorders, because they don't want people with untreated mental illnesses running around on the streets. I know when I lived in AZ, I was in a program that gave me free treatment no matter what my income was.

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2002
In reply to: mom_steph001
Sat, 12-31-2005 - 10:55am
Check the government pages of your phone book. Most counties have a Behavioral Health/Mental Health department through the Human Services agency. Also contact your local NAMI. Our NAMI tries to get assistance for those who can't afford it. They may know of grant programs in your area. In my area there is Childrens Mental Health. They may be able to refer you to someone because you have a young child. There are grants especially for people with children under 5.
There are resources out there but they have to be discovered. It's unfortunate that finding treatment is so difficult. It has been difficult for my partner and he has me and his mom helping find these things. I know if he were on his own he'd fall through the cracks. Make the first call. Our county has a mental health crisis line you can call 24 hours per day. They make referrals. They have their own pdoc.
You need to get treated. The longer you go untreated the worse the damage. For your sake and the sake of your beautiful baby-GET TREATMENT!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: mom_steph001
Sat, 12-31-2005 - 12:13pm

((((((Steph)))))) Welcome. Have you looked into the Social Service/Mental Health division? They often have sliding scales for people who can't normally afford the going rates for pdocs and tdocs.


Rapid cycling is not fun, there are quite a few of us here who have/had that. I too have trouble sticking with my meds. I recently stopped taking 3 of the 5 meds because I just got tired of being sedated all the time and majorly depressed. Now, as a result I'm manic again. Has your doc ever tried you on trileptal? That's what my pdoc put me on for the rage.


I've finally gotten my head around the fact that I need meds to survive this illness. Not all will work for every person. This is another thing I've learned. My daughter can take lamictal and it works for her. I tried it and got the rash. Each person is different and each med reacts differently as a result. I'm still looking for the cocktail that will work for me. The important thing is to stick with it. Find a doc that will work with you. If you can't find one, and you are feeling out of control to the point where you fear hurting someone or yourself, then go to the hospital. They will get you on track.


Seroquel, once I got to a dose that stopped the paranoia and racing thoughts left me feeling much like you described while you were on the lamictal. It did what it needed to do, but sucked the life right out of me in the process. I can understand your frustration. But please get to a doc asap because your baby and your dh need you. And you need/deserve to be healthy and stable.


I hope this helps a little. Hang in there and post here as often as you need/want. We're all in this together.


Hugs,


Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2005
In reply to: mom_steph001
Sat, 12-31-2005 - 7:24pm
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone, just hearing other people go though somewhat the same things i have makes me feel better.....i am going to try the NAMI thing.....i know i need help fast because i know my bipolar is out of control and my family is on the line. if i don't get help soon i am scared i will lose my husband and son, i know it is hard for my husband to come home from work not knowing who is going to greet him at the door. will i be in a happy cheerful mood, or maybe a bitchy mood, or i will be in my if you don't leave me alone i am going to scream mood....and that scares me because i know he loves me and cares for me and i mean he is the one i changed my life for and got off drugs...3 years sober!!! people can only take so much. i have tried the local mental health and they did not do anything. they said if i felt like dying they could help...but when i went i did not feel like dying...mental health here in nc is really bad....i think they wait for you to break emotionally and then they have nothing to worry about. it is very annoying when you want to get help and because i am not rich i have to wait 6months to a year....i could be dead by then....so thanks for all the advice i am going to try them...oh yeah about the scale thing i did that once back when i was 18 but now we have no money at all...we live pay check to pay check and it kills me because my husband works so hard and i wish i can help but i am scared to leave my house! does bipolar cause anxiety/panic disorder?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: mom_steph001
Sat, 12-31-2005 - 8:24pm

Steph - I'm sorry you've had such a hard time getting help. Our mental health clinic here actually was shut down temporarily due to budget cuts of all things. Of course, some of the tdocs and pdocs they had on staff were nothing to write home about!


NAMI is one good suggestion. You mentioned in your post that you're 3 years sober. Have you tried any 12 step groups? WHile they aren't bipolar related, they can provide support and tools to look at situations differently, which I believe help in dealing with our mood swings. If that makes any sense.


Keep trying to get in with a clinic. Do you or your husband have an Employee Assistance Program through your job(s)? I'm not sure if you work or not. But, if you or he does, maybe they can help. That's how I found my current tdoc. And keep posting here. We will listen, we care and will support you in any way we can. You have found a wonderful place to vent. Continue to post. It helps.


Hang in there and keep us posted.


Hugs,
Traci

Avatar for firstglimpse
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: mom_steph001
Sun, 01-01-2006 - 1:30pm

I recently read John Hopkins University believe anxiety & bipolar are the same disease, just different forms of. I know my H suffers anxiety attacks when he is in a mood. I suffer panic disorder myself - but mine is related to PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) which means mine goes with my monthly cycles. Yet, taking years to figure this out I now have the learned behavior from the attacks & trying to work through them (Zoloft alleviates PMDD attacks & it's working beautiful for me!) But I understand the fear you are speaking of not even wanting to leave your house. It can become very debilitating.

NOTE: Since you already suffer a depressive illness I believe this means you are at a much greater risk for PPD. The good news in this, the severity of the illness right now may not be life-long, but does require treatment. A suggestion is to contact your OB and let him/her know of your mood swings & you are diagnosed BP. S/he may also know of programs for you to get medical help. I know my OB would be more sensative to my situation than any other doctor.

WHAT I DO FOR ANXIETY:
When my anxiety has been so high that I stay home way too much & have H run all the errands all that happens is my anxieties get worse. So these are the steps I take to get me out again.

Know & accept you're going to have an attack when you go out. Do not try to fight them. When it starts to come on let it come. If you're driving pull over. Sometimes I need to even get out of the car and walk around a bit.

SHORT, QUICK, CLOSE ERRANDS. There were a few weeks were I had all these things I had to do. Luckily they were all within a short few miles from my house & side roads could be taken. I noticed by the end of a couple of weeks I was calm while driving from one place to another. So now I realize if I get to the point where it's hard to get out any longer I start making multple, usually senseless, trips around the house. Perhaps in the morning run to the store to get some milk. Later in the day run to the bank. Slowly start making the destinations a little farther from home, but make it consistent - i.e. try not to skip more than a day w/o getting out.

FOR THE UNAVOIDABLE LONGER TRIPS: I will find an object on the road which is a few miles ahead. I then say, outloud, 'focus on the shell sign, focus on the shell sign, it's red, yellow ontop of white, focus on the shell sign.' ONE this clears my mind of worrying about having an attack (biggest cause of axiety attack is the fear of having one), TWO clears my mind of daily stressors, THREE keeps me talking so I do not start to hyperventalate, FOUR makes the trip faster as you be passing the object so quickly and need to find a new object and focus on it & pass it so quickly that pretty soon you've reached your destination.

HTH

Bonnie




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: mom_steph001
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 7:55am

Hi Steph! Welcome. Yes, fish oil can help. Exercise can help. But you need meds too. The other ladies have given you good advice. I just wanted to say hello and let you know we ARE here for you!

Hang in there,

Hugs!

Keli