ggggrrrrrrrrrrrr what i did

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
ggggrrrrrrrrrrrr what i did
6
Sat, 12-31-2005 - 3:38pm

my mother told me i'd never get my husband to seriously beleive i want him gone untill i started behaving like an independant woman.last night when she spoke to me i was completely beated down.
today when i took it upon myself to make some 10 years needed repairs & he reacted as tho we had never had the conversastion...this one of many...i broke.it was so crystal how he keeps me comfused & unsure & changes my words to make him the hero when(excuse me ladies....I AM THE HERO HERE IN EVERY WAY)
i stood my ground & i told him it was over.it was like the 1st time he ever HEARD it.
i called my mother cause i wanted to talk & she cried b/c i sounded strong.
i called my shrink b/c h wants to come & tell his story & i wanted to let her know.
but she knows so i'm not scared.

i can't support 2 households(120,000 a year says)i buy noothing)i said you'll learn to.i'm not living with you.
congratulate me ladies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Sat, 12-31-2005 - 5:15pm

I do not begin to know what it might be like to have a controlling husband or a bad marriage, so I don't believe I can fully appreciate what you have done. But, it does sound strong! Good for you!

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sat, 12-31-2005 - 6:24pm

(((((((((((((((((Suzi))))))))))))))))))))))))) Take a bow! That was a massively huge step and you should be proud!:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2002
Sun, 01-01-2006 - 3:48am
Congratulations! You go girl!


Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 01-01-2006 - 7:10am
holy moly...this morning he kept it up REFUSING to leave blah blag...demanding i look at him & tell him i love him...SAYING WE WILL WORK IT OUT......that made me snap b/c i said i heard that that last time & the time before FOR OVER 5 YEARS NOW & everytime i ask you to go to therapy w/ me & you say no.there comes a point where you stop listening & those words mean NOTHING!i also laughed out loud b/c when i was listing the stuff i gave up in addition to giving him my savings(this was a few years ago)to right some loans...it's a mess..my credit is ruined b/c of him i'm paying for half my therapy now & i'm looking for a weekend job...
anyway...i said...i do't shop,get my hair done,i gave up the cleaning lady my mom gave me when the kids were small,i get my makeup free by selling AVON &THEN i gave up my therapy cause you asked my to!
well...you're in therapy now.he had the nerve to say.
yes well...the freaking bottom fell out & i had a bottle of vodka pills & a rzor,i was indulging in bad behavior AND taking care of the kids...THAT'S like saying welll since the bathtub exploded we HAD to call the plumbber
isn't it?
as far as i'm concerned everytime he opens his mouth he says something stupider.i'm glad my mother is alive altho far away to HEAR me.i'm sorry it's 8 days till my shrink.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sun, 01-01-2006 - 10:30am

Suzi!!!!!!

Wow!!! WOW!! Way to take a stand for yourself! I'm proud of you.

I know how difficult this must be for you. January 18th will mark 14 years since I walked out on my controlling, undermining, belittling, overbearing, lying, cheating, nasty-a$$ed ex-husband. My oly regret is that I didn't do it sooner. Those first 10 months of 1992; I was very nervous. Despite finding a job, place to live, friends and indepedence (I was lucky; -no kids); I kept waiting to fall apart. I was sure I would break down, that there would be some buried weakness that would give and fail me. It never happened. No weakness. No breakdown. I was stronger that I knew.

You *know* you are strong. Build on that core and stick to your guns. You are doing the right thing for yourself and you will succeed (and you have him on the run ).

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 7:53am

SUZI!!!! Congratulations! This has been coming for a very long time, and YOU DID IT! You made the first step. There may be set backs, and that's OKAY. You stood up for yourself and that's so cool!!!

You ARE the hero, honey and I'm SO glad you see that finally.

H is the loser, no matter how much money he makes.

You can get through this...

Love you

Keli