Missing the highs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Missing the highs
4
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 8:47am

Hi all!, and happy new year. I hope we all manage to keep things in balance in 2006.

I noticed many times throughout the holiday season where I thought I would feel really happy, peaceful, joyful, excited, whatever...but I didn't. I assume this is because the lamactil and trileptal keep the good, as well as the bad, feelings in check. I feel like I'm slowly becoming even more numb than I was on the antidepressants. While its a blessing not to feel the lows, I miss the highs.

Has anyone else had this experience? I wondered if going off the antidepressants but staying on the lamactil and trileptal would help, but every time I've even reduced my dosage of antidepressants I've had those really unpleasant side-effects; i.e. that dizzy, electric-shock feeling. Plus, its certainly not worth the risk of slipping into depression again.

People who don't suffer from it always think of depression as sadness. It's not. It hits me with this hopeless, lethargic, totally unmotivated feeling, and I'm not going back there.

Any thoughts or identification? Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 12:01pm

(((((((((Mo))))))))) I understand your feelings. If I had to guess one way or the other, I would say that the meds are the culprit. I stopped the seroquel and the trileptal recently and stayed on the depakote and wellbutrin. The racing thoughts came back with a vengence as did my rage. I've started back on the meds I stopped and actually slept last night but now that I'm awake, all I want to do is go back to bed. The meds leave me hung-over and wiped out which is aggravating as all get out.


I wasn't able to take the lamictal because I got the rash. My daughter takes it and seems to be doing ok with it. So, perhaps it's the trileptal? I don't know. That was the first thing the pdoc started toying with when I started sleeping too much. But, I think for me it was a combination of the seroquel and the trileptal. Because once I stopped the trileptal, I was still sleeping more than I was awake. Then within a few days of stopping the seroquel I started feeling better little by little then last week I swung into a hypomanic phase.


I wish I could give you a better answer, but the only thing I can suggest is to call your pdoc. Tell him everything you are experiencing and ask if the meds are causing the flat feeling. If they are hopefully your doc can figure out an adjustment that will help you feel a little bit better. Keep us posted.


hugs,


Traci

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 5:10am

listen...i even told my dr...when we were having the disciussion bout money that my h prompted...maybe i should just give this all up...pretend i moved to florida & have no dr.

after all...w/out meds i was skinny had friends lovers jobs went out & was capapable of having some wiLdly good times.
of course i forgot the rest.
so,yes..i know what you mean.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 8:00am

Mo!!! Hey!

Our BP is SOOOOO much alike. I totally and completely know what you are talking about. I miss miss miss miss the highs too. I just did that very thing, came off my Prozac to "see" how I did...BIG MISTAKE! Got VERY depressed...suicidal...crying for days...all the time...no energy, didn't care about ANYTHING...so I went back on it, a few days ago...and yes, I got the whole brain zappy, dizzy thing too...you're not supposed to from Prozac, but I did.

Anyway, its caused a mixed agitated mood for me...I have figured out that I will never be "just okay", but am trying to once again accept it.

I don't know what to say other than I love you and I know what you mean, totally!

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 11:47am

Mo,


I can so relate to your description of depression--it's not so much sadness, but a lack of joy in ANYTHING--everything is shades of gray and at it's worse even opening my eyes and walking to the bathroom is a great struggle.