Education is good
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| Wed, 01-11-2006 - 10:51am |
H is finishing one of his 'normal' cycles. Yes, he did drink for it. My natural response was to just give up & tell him to go away, but then I analyzed. He still is not on a full cocktail, he still has not been stablized from this manic episode, I'm still not completely educated. When he was doing so well with the Wellbutrin he hardly ever drank, that is when I finally felt safe enough to have children with him. His pdoc appt is on Feb 28th & I feel I need to wait until the right combo of meds are in his system & then expect more from him.
I start my family to family course on the 18th. Then there is also an Alanon-type NAMI support group for MI with co-occurent and/or addiction. I'm hoping between the two of those I can better stratagize where my boundaries are and how to set them & keep them.
BUT HOW WAS THIS CYCLE BETTER FOR ME??
I have been able to separate the illness from H. When he dropped into his depression I did not blame him or internalize and take things personally. In the past I always thought the drop was due to alcohol withdrawl (never understood why it would take 3 days to sober up), but now I know these physical and mental ailments he suffers has to do with the fast drop into depression. I have not become angry with him once & my frustration is with the illness & not him. I feel better about life! Normally when he drops I allow myself to become miserable too. I even told my IC I felt I cycled with H, when he gets hypomanic I go there too, when he drops, so do I. Understanding what is really going on this time allowed me to not jump into the chaos, but rather choose where I wanted to participate & enjoy the up and I have not gone down with him at all.
This feels good!
Bonnie
