my old friend rapid cycling---*trigs*

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
my old friend rapid cycling---*trigs*
1
Thu, 01-12-2006 - 7:18am
I HATE this. HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! Why the heck was I ever born? I believe I might be on the verge of a complete breakdown, but I am trying to fight it off. Right now everything is making me soooo angry and not just because of the miscarriage. I feel like a piece of crap and I can't do anything right. I can't even work right now, but here I am anyway. My pdoc thought I was nuts for coming in to work at all. But I would be forced to burn all my vacation and would have nothing at all for the rest of the year. So I come here and sit and stare at the walls and try to avoid everyone. I spent most of the last two days at work hiding in the bathroom. My DH is on the base in Florida for the next two weeks. I have been having troubles with sleep too. I keep waking up with my body covered in heavy sweat but I am freezing. I keep having to change the sheets because they are soaking wet every morning. Yuck! My pdoc was so upset she wanted me to stop work-even wanted me to go long term IP. I only wish that were an option. I also wish I could stop wallowing in self pity and making myself more miserable. I have such a melancholy spirit anyway. Perhaps having to go off my meds has made me feel worse than usual. I am slowly going back on them. OK--enough moaning and rambling!
Jodie

Jodie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Thu, 01-12-2006 - 10:03am

hon...you had a loss...all the emotions are normal and you need to go thru them...it sucks and I'm surprised you are at work also, but in the end its your decision.


you are having the sweats b/c that's what your body needs to do to get rid of the hormones....all women have that after a pregnancy.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

God could not be everywhere, so