hey keli!
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| Thu, 01-19-2006 - 8:54pm |
hi babes...
hope you're feelingn better. sorry havent been here much. you know how i feel about this place though, but im trying for you. also work has been REALLY bad this week, and i havent been able to leave for lunch. ive been trying SO hard to keep it positive but its getting harder and harder.
for the first time in a long time my anger has been getting out of hand. the only thing i can think of is that im a little too hypo, and the only reason i can think of is that ive been taking too muhc trazadone. i think its started acting as an a/d, instead of sleep aid. i just started taking on my own, i had some left over. i havent been sleeping, so i started taking a crapload of it. wish i had ambien left. seeing pdoc tomorrow, so i can find out what he thinks. he'll probably blast me for taking meds w/o talking to him first. whatever. i just wanted to regulate my sleep.
anyway, nothing new. xh still contacting me. old high school bf sent me a letter telling me how wonderful his life is now. married with kids, a chemist, part owner in a construction company, real estate investor, etc. etc. etc. wtf, like i CARE! leave me ALONE! i have NOTHING! i dont need to hear about you and your perfect life.
whatever. i wont get on here tomorrow since my lunch will be spent getting pissed off in the waiting room at pdoc's office. but ill look for you on aim and stuff this weekend.
love ya!

No, NOT feeling any better...AT ALL...i'm at work, but I don't know how long I will be here...I took Risperdal last night, hoping it would make me feel better, instead of Seroquel, but it didn't.
I'm tired...I'm extremely depressed...I don't care about anything anymore...I need to tell my boss how I feel, so I don't get in trouble at work, but I don't want to...I need to call pdoc, but I don't want to...I'm so freaking tired of pdocs, meds, and everything...just can't do it.
I can't pretend today.
Going to my parents this weekend, joy freaking joy...yeah, look for me on aim...please.
I found your number last night too...
Love you