Tracey

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tracey
3
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 12:20pm

Hey...how are you doing? I'm much better, but still cycling...cycling up though is much better than being down...as we both know...so I'm hoping the meds will kick in before a crash again. I think with no PMS for 2 more weeks or so, that maybe I have a good chance. Just will depend on triggers. OMG I found these pictures of myself at my mom's this weekend. From when I was a baby, til I was two, til I was like a teenager, til I got married, til about 10 years ago. Talk about differences in my appearance. So, I drove Eric crazy talking about the different "girls". He told me to stop it...lol. Then I glued them all on construction paper and made a "project" with them. A self esteem sort of thing. Hey, I was bored.

I have been SOOOOOO productive at work. So productive that I'm so caught up with everything that I'm getting bored. I'm coming up with NEW stuff to do, lol.

This morning, I went outside to smoke, and these two guys were outside doing the meter reading on electric and they were trying SO hard to get my attention. Course, they work where H does and that brought on a WHOLE bunch of stuff...like revenge! But I was good. Didn't say a word to them...lol. It did feel good though, to get some attention again. Haven't had that in a long time. They were SO cute too. It was hard, but I did it. Had to tell you, so you would be proud of me!

Guess I'm a bit manic, huh?

Dang it. Oh well. Like I've said 10 million times over, I'd rather be manic.

OMG I am freaking about going to the car place tonight. I'm scared cuz I probably won't be able to pull it off, and I need a car SOOOO bad.

I am so broke and payday is a week away. Lovely.

Anyway, just wanted to chat with you a bit. I miss you!!!

Love you,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 1:32pm

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Clint just called me...I haven't talked to him in months, right???

I haven't talked to Howard in months either...

He, Clint, just told me that Howard has/had Cancer. He had/has (??) testicular cancer and they had to REMOVE them. OMG. ICK. And he had to go through radiation. And his wife had to have her OTHER breast removed from HER breast cancer and go through MORE chemo/rad too. All this in the last couple months.

That didn't even freak me out. Is that horrible of me???

Anyway, I told Clint to keep in touch and he said he would. He's still my friend. At least he was a TRUE friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 3:24pm

Hey!!!! I miss you too like crazy! I really AM proud of you for not pursuing the situation outside today. You are at the perfect mania right now IMHO - you are feeling on top of the world but still are able to control your behavior.

You have to keep in mind, when you are at this stage, you feel AWESOME and you like yourself more...people around you can sense this and it attracts them. Even Mike can tell when I like myself and when I don't just by the way I walk into the apartment. It IS noticable. :)

I wouldn't worry too much about the car place. They are use to dealing with credit issues and usually have SOME way to help you out. Look at leasing - it is less expensive and you get a newer/better car. If you don't get one tonight, do NOT stress about it. You will find one. It will just take a little longer. We are really lucky, my Mom is going to sell us her old 1995 Lincoln (she just put new tires on it and a bunch of work into it) for only $500. It started out at $1,000, but she is tired of having it at the house. She has a newer Lincoln and doesn't drive the old one anymore. Only stipulation - we can't have it until Mike is working and/or going to school. What a hag LOL

I am so relieved that you feel better. You were in such a dark and ugly place last week. I have my hopes high about the new pdoc. Hopefully this is the miracle you were waiting for.

Things here are going well. We are still making plans about the "wedding" and trying to pin down some dates. The main plan right now is to "elope" to a justice of the peace on the 17th of Feb, but it will depend on the rings. I WILL NOT get married before we have them. Downside to that is to custom order a ring takes 6-8 weeks...so we might just get a store ring and have the gem changed (I don't want my main stone to be a diamond). I know what I would love to have, but he can get me that for our 10 year anniversary or something. Best part of using sapphires for our wedding rings is that I can wear them on any finger and it is appropriate

No updates on the baby situation. We aren't stressing about it at all, but we talk about it a lot. Of course, it is getting close to Feb so we will start being careful soon...until April. We don't want to risk having a December baby. SO, with my luck, I figure I should be getting pregnant early March LOL!!!!

The job is hectic and busy and crazy as all get out...and we aren't at our "busy" time yet - that is April. Scary!

Hang in there, and keep me updated. I keep meaning to call but when is the problem.

Love you!!!
Tracey

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: keli003
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 3:39pm

YAY! My Tracey!!! LMAO.

So, it was REALLY hard not to talk to the situation outside this morning...but you know that I'm sure. But I thought about for a split second and made the right decision which is REALLY amazing for me.

As for the car situation...the place I am going to is a place for people with bad credit. They have cars that are around 5 years old, but come with a warranty. I am not really worried about the financing (???) but the down payment. I just can go and see what they say, I guess, and go from there. That's all I can do.

Now, the wedding...go YOU! I love that idea...

My ED stuff is kicking back up...but its the manic...I'm not eating all day again...but Eric is making me eat at night...dang him. He says I have to eat. I know that...but I sure don't want to. Its a struggle...and of course, the Topamax. So, I'm trying to force myself to eat dinner so I can take the anti inflammatory meds...and the darn flaxseed oil stuff...I CANNOT REMEMBER TO TAKE 10 OF THEM A DAY!

I am determined to lose weight...I just have to find that balance somehow. I will. I just get a bit carried away in the beginning...but I promise I'll not get out of control. If I do, you can kick my butt.

Don't worry about finding time to call...we'll talk eventually again! I know you're busy with work, and home...My Mike's bday is 2/18 and he starts DRIVING! I cannot believe it and it scares the you know what out of me. But he is growing up and I have to let him. He is getting a bit more responsible at times...but that might be the manic talking too! :)

Okay, I better stop now, or I will keep talking and talking and talking.

TTYS