On my way to pdoc....
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On my way to pdoc....
| Tue, 01-24-2006 - 6:03pm |
i'm better, but still not where i need to be. i've been mixed for the past several days. my rage and libido are still sky high, but now i feel depression knocking at the door. i'm thinking pms is playing a role here.
i need to get the rage and libido stuff under control. i totally went off on ds last week for lying to me. yeah, i had a right to be extremely angry, but what i felt was beyond that. it was unhealthy rage. so i've got to tell pdoc about that. the other issue is driving me insane! i haven't been this bad since high school. and i just want the depression to go away before it gets a hold on me. i'm NOT going there again. i can't.
anyway, just wanted to post an update.
hugs,
traci



so...how was it?
does he have an answer for that rage?
God could not be everywhere, so
pdoc appointment went well. i like her honest straight to business approach, but at the same time, she has
Hi Traci,
I haven't read any other posts so I hope I am not making a fool out of myself for replying.
I hear you on the libido issue. It sucks having all kinds of energy, and no where to relieve it.
hi cyn,
no,you're not making a fool of yourself! don't ever think that. i'm hoping the zyprexa does the trick for my libido. this is driving me up a wall. i started the new dose last night so we'll see. i know i didn't sleep well at all but that could be any number of things.
yeah, lying is the surest way to send me through the roof. and when he fessed up to having lied (9 yo ds) i wanted to throttle him and worse. i made sure i told pdoc that last night too. this way she knows to what extent my rage is. i was able to stop myself from hurting him - i actually didn't even lay a hand on him. i was quite proud of myself afterward. but oh, i wanted to! so that tells me that the zyprexa is helping it's just "not there" yet. and ds knows it's going to be a VERY long time before i believe much of anything he has to tell me. if he tells me he's sick - unless he is throwing up or running a high fever his butt is going to school. this was the issue he lied about. he wanted to stay home so he could play video games all day. Oh, did I see RED!
Anyway, if i find the libido cure i'll definitely let you know. at least until rick gets home;) Lol! Hang in there and I'll talk to you soon.
hugs,
traci