Tracey

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tracey
1
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 8:05am

Okay, flying high in the sky...da da da da da da da...did you like my song? LOLOLOL

Happened last night...in a matter of less than an hour...no sleep...no meds either though for a couple days...picking them up today...

If it weren't for the agitation, I wish I could stay like this...ya know? But my brain is going a million miles a minute...and I have to fake it today through a big project here...but luckily I did most of it yesterday.

Went to one of Mike's BBall games last night, omg, I think that's what started my mood swing...I got all competitive...then there was this one woman there WHO WOULD NOT SHUT UP and was for the other team...i mean, she was yelling, and kicking her feet, and yelling, and clapping, and yelling...omg. They lost, but Mike had 16 points out of 32 so that was very exciting to watch.

I have to be VERY careful today...I want to put a note on my hand that says, MANIC ALERT. I have to pay my bills. I HAVE TO. I have to NOT call you know who, though I've already dialed his number this morning. He must still be off work.

Anyway, how are you? We really didn't talk much yesterday and it was all about me mostly, not doing something stupid cuz of the depressive side...now i'm waaaaaay up on the other side and don't need to do something stupid. I feel like a child sometimes and I'm 35.

Gonna stop now, or I'll keep going. Oh, decided after talking to you that I will tell that Jennifer chick that I will pay it if she gets me copies of bills...thinking of even putting it in writing to her...and then I will pay only installments. Too bad. Can't do more than that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: keli003
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 11:12am

Hey :)

Glad you are doing better today. I think you (and I) get manic most of the time when we get paid...that whole SPEND impulse kicks in...until we see what is left after paying stuff LOL

I think you are being very smart and sensible with your thought processes. You have to remember, even though you struggle a LOT, you keep your wits about you. While you would love to do something to hurt yourself, you are AWARE that it is bp and not reality and don't do it. When you would like to do something REALLY stupid like call that jerk or spend your paycheck, you usually don't because you KNOW that it is the BP. That in itself proves that you are a grown up and not a child. You make REASONABLE choices.

I am SO proud of you :)

I'm doing well. Picked out my rings last night - and found them a LOT less expensive then I had previously. Will link them to you later. Should have them next week. We are planning on eloping on the 17th to the JP, so that works LOL

Just waiting (anxiously) for my W2 from my last job so I can get my tax return. NOT very patient. Need that for the wedding and to catch up on my credit cards. After we go and get married, we have reservations at one of the casinos about 1 1/2 hours from here for the night - go the jacuzzi suite We are both very excited.

Mike is working a LOT this week (already made over $200 and it is only Tuesday). Will help a great deal as I made a rash decision and bought an account for EQ from a guildmember for $100. I felt bad afterward because I could have used that $100 to pay for the marriage license...but Mike is paying for that this week :) Then we are set for the actual wedding.

We go tonight to a conference for Savannah - she is still having a LOT of issues in some classes. I pulled out the B hat and set up the meeting with her homeroom/reading teacher (hag) and the math teacher, and the principal, and the special ed teacher. I am NOT backing down on this stuff either. Mike is going with to keep me out of jail. :) After the conference we go and sample wedding cakes. We go to another place one night next week. Should help us decide what we want.

KK - I have GOT to get some work done!!!!

Love ya!
T