what do you do when your support system

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
what do you do when your support system
2
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 3:43pm
is FLAWED?
my h hangs on to me as tho he's my sole support & he is such a loser in a winners clothing.
i hate him.
my family has FINALLY seen his flaws & my mother just wrote him a letter(she sent me a copy)that she had a lein put on the house cause he never paid the water bill like he promised.now she has to pay interest in addition to a huge bill.
he had written her an email when i told her i wanted a divorce that his defense was that my illness & the cost of my care put a financial strain on him.
she says...she paid for the dining room,the deck(which her husband built & my husband still claims HE did)i paid for the basement,she pays the insurance(which would have paid for water damage from a leak had he allowed the adjesters to come) & my children's wardrobe & extras & now their afterschooling....all this should balance against what my care cost(especially since i wound up paying half of it)
this is what i live with.
& yes i love my children but anyone who has them & has bp knows that the chaos & the noise & the lack of privacy & the constant mess is often just too much.
i just want a little joy in my life.
it's like my life's mission is to avoid my husband.
& now that people have started agreeing with me i'm totally freaked out by being RIGHT.
but i'm stuck.totally stuck.it is one of the worst feelings in the world.it's like all that goes with being an adult is taken away BUT there is no one there for you either.you are stuck all by yourself.
ugh ugh ugh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 7:55am

oh do i totally know what you mean...i feel so alone, and very much stuck as well...stuck in this hell that is rapid cycling and no way out...i crashed so hard last night and my dh was soooo distant, like he could care less...all he said was, do you need to go to the doctor...i was like no...then i cried for hours...still haven't slept...3 days now...was so completely agitated, but depressed at the same time...

our situations are a bit different, but it all stems from the same thing...this stupid disorder that i've come to hate more than ever...i just am so tired of dealing with it...or trying to...there is no dealing with it...there is only basic survival and i wish i had a little joy in my life too. i only have bp and rapid cycling...i make those around me miserable with it, right along with me and its just not fair to any of us.

well, i just wanted to say i know how you feel...and i'm sorry you're going thru it...you deserve so much more...

love you...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 10:49am

What support system?