i give up
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i give up
| Sat, 02-04-2006 - 2:52pm |
more than 6 months of starving myself & my weight hasn't budged an oz.
my h won't "let" me join a diet program,cause even if i pay for it i have to use his credit card.
my dr. has given me the designer drugs to get you skinny but i stay here at about 150 & never dip lower.it's enough to depress me.if i were eating & not exercising i could understand but i'm starving & i'm doing what i'm supposed to.
when my pdoc said maybe it's my age & genetics i wanted to slap him...he finds it hard to beleive that a year & a half ago i weighed 120 & that's why this xtra 30 pounds is intolerable.
i've had my freaking thyroid checked.
i'm hungry & fat & it's not a good combo.but what the heck would happen if i stopped starving?would i balloon up to 200?
who wants to live like THIS???
my h won't "let" me join a diet program,cause even if i pay for it i have to use his credit card.
my dr. has given me the designer drugs to get you skinny but i stay here at about 150 & never dip lower.it's enough to depress me.if i were eating & not exercising i could understand but i'm starving & i'm doing what i'm supposed to.
when my pdoc said maybe it's my age & genetics i wanted to slap him...he finds it hard to beleive that a year & a half ago i weighed 120 & that's why this xtra 30 pounds is intolerable.
i've had my freaking thyroid checked.
i'm hungry & fat & it's not a good combo.but what the heck would happen if i stopped starving?would i balloon up to 200?
who wants to live like THIS???

With all due respect, I don't know if you have anything to complain about. I doubled my weight years ago on Li and Depakote and still have not been able to take it off. Were I 150? I'd be VERY happy!
A bit like professional hockey players complaining they make too little, perhaps?
--Beth
P.S. Sorry if this seems bitter
I understand how much 30 pounds seems like. I gained 30 pounds last summer and like you, I can not lose it. I am exercising, trying to watch what I eat and taking topamax (as a mood stablizer), but the weight is not moving. I even bought prescription meds from a not so good source off the internet. My MIL lost 20 plus pounds taking them, I lost nothing. She was not even exercising. It is just not fair.
That being said. I would love to be 150. I am currently 190 and want to get to 170 or 160. But, 160 is my normal weight, not 120. If 120 is your normal weight, I understand how the difference would bother you. My mom is now 135 and it is killing her, because she is used to being 110. How tall are you? (I am 5 7) Can you buy some nice clothing? I always feel better if I wear clothing that fits my new weight better. I wear sweats way too much.
Good Luck and Hugs. I know how you feel.
Missy
i understand those of you who say "sheese...150 whaT on earth is she complaining about??"BUT it's all relative...i am short & i have always been 120 & sorry if it sounds small,but how i look has always been a huge part of my self esteem...now i'm 44 & soon may be divorced.i am disgusted by myself.i have never not been able to correct a weight problem by dieting...w/ zyprexa it took stopping the drug but the weight came off.w/ depakote it took lowering the dose..the weight came off.
the dr. swears that all my current drugs are weight neutral but the weight is not budging & i am starving
i'm glad i was able to stop the gain at 150,but i am frustrated that it will not come off no matter what i do.
those of you who want to disparage me b/c i'm complaining at "only 150" pounds,go right ahead if it makes you feel better...i just know i look fat & middle aged when less than 2 years ago i knew i didn't have to.
Sweetie,
I can't help but wonder if you are assigning more significance to your weight gain than deserves to be--you've got a lot going on that can cause you to be unhappy and lower your self-esteem and weight is just a handy whipping post.
i know how to diet...it's just scary that its not working.
i can't help but think that if i had not mentioned my weight the responses would have been different.
forget it.
Personally, I think people are taking your post the wrong way too.
God could not be everywhere, so
yes i had felt attacked & there was no way i was gonna post anymore info about myself with the reaction i got.
as for starving..it's not like i go below 1200 calories so that isn't the problem.
i suppose my reaction to certain drugs is different from the norm too.it's just pure frightening when the usual cure doesn't make it go away.
Hey Suz, just wanted to post my support. I'm fixated on my weight (just another one of the issues floating around inside the "big top," if you know what I mean). I can relate. I have refused to take certain drugs because they historically cause people to gain weight; i.e. lithium. I am doing well on lamactil and haven't either gained or lost weight. My body is used to carrying around a certain amount of weight, and I FEEL IT if I gain even a modest amount. I feel tired, sluggish, crappy, and my self-esteem suffers.
I never interpreted your post to be a "poor me I want to be 120 lbs and look like a model" whine. I totally relate to the fact that you're uncomfortable at your current weight and there's a total loss of control in that you're doing everything possible and despite your best efforts cannot change the situation. That in itself is frustrating - the lack of control.
I've got no weight loss suggestions (except totally unhealthy ones and you don't want them!!!) but hang in there. Love, Mo.
anyway...those of you who answered my recent post.i adore you & i'm doing my best to stop with the nonstop diologue in my head.