i give up

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
i give up
10
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 2:52pm
more than 6 months of starving myself & my weight hasn't budged an oz.
my h won't "let" me join a diet program,cause even if i pay for it i have to use his credit card.
my dr. has given me the designer drugs to get you skinny but i stay here at about 150 & never dip lower.it's enough to depress me.if i were eating & not exercising i could understand but i'm starving & i'm doing what i'm supposed to.
when my pdoc said maybe it's my age & genetics i wanted to slap him...he finds it hard to beleive that a year & a half ago i weighed 120 & that's why this xtra 30 pounds is intolerable.
i've had my freaking thyroid checked.
i'm hungry & fat & it's not a good combo.but what the heck would happen if i stopped starving?would i balloon up to 200?
who wants to live like THIS???
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
In reply to: suziq_3
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 4:27pm

With all due respect, I don't know if you have anything to complain about. I doubled my weight years ago on Li and Depakote and still have not been able to take it off. Were I 150? I'd be VERY happy!

A bit like professional hockey players complaining they make too little, perhaps?

--Beth

P.S. Sorry if this seems bitter

Avatar for missyflanders
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 4:56pm

I understand how much 30 pounds seems like. I gained 30 pounds last summer and like you, I can not lose it. I am exercising, trying to watch what I eat and taking topamax (as a mood stablizer), but the weight is not moving. I even bought prescription meds from a not so good source off the internet. My MIL lost 20 plus pounds taking them, I lost nothing. She was not even exercising. It is just not fair.

That being said. I would love to be 150. I am currently 190 and want to get to 170 or 160. But, 160 is my normal weight, not 120. If 120 is your normal weight, I understand how the difference would bother you. My mom is now 135 and it is killing her, because she is used to being 110. How tall are you? (I am 5 7) Can you buy some nice clothing? I always feel better if I wear clothing that fits my new weight better. I wear sweats way too much.

Good Luck and Hugs. I know how you feel.

Missy

 
 
Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 5:45pm
nice clothing isn't helping....this weight did not come on nicely & i do not carry it well.for a while people wondered when i was due.
i understand those of you who say "sheese...150 whaT on earth is she complaining about??"BUT it's all relative...i am short & i have always been 120 & sorry if it sounds small,but how i look has always been a huge part of my self esteem...now i'm 44 & soon may be divorced.i am disgusted by myself.i have never not been able to correct a weight problem by dieting...w/ zyprexa it took stopping the drug but the weight came off.w/ depakote it took lowering the dose..the weight came off.
the dr. swears that all my current drugs are weight neutral but the weight is not budging & i am starving
i'm glad i was able to stop the gain at 150,but i am frustrated that it will not come off no matter what i do.
those of you who want to disparage me b/c i'm complaining at "only 150" pounds,go right ahead if it makes you feel better...i just know i look fat & middle aged when less than 2 years ago i knew i didn't have to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 7:37pm

Sweetie,


I can't help but wonder if you are assigning more significance to your weight gain than deserves to be--you've got a lot going on that can cause you to be unhappy and lower your self-esteem and weight is just a handy whipping post.

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 7:17am
i was actually just having a tantrum about not being able to join the weight loss program i CHOSE(internet)...i recently had a terrible experience trying to join weight watchers but i'll spare you.
i know how to diet...it's just scary that its not working.
i can't help but think that if i had not mentioned my weight the responses would have been different.
forget it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
In reply to: suziq_3
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 9:14am

Personally, I think people are taking your post the wrong way too.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

God could not be everywhere, so

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 10:48am
thanks donna...
yes i had felt attacked & there was no way i was gonna post anymore info about myself with the reaction i got.
as for starving..it's not like i go below 1200 calories so that isn't the problem.
i suppose my reaction to certain drugs is different from the norm too.it's just pure frightening when the usual cure doesn't make it go away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 9:06am

Hey Suz, just wanted to post my support. I'm fixated on my weight (just another one of the issues floating around inside the "big top," if you know what I mean). I can relate. I have refused to take certain drugs because they historically cause people to gain weight; i.e. lithium. I am doing well on lamactil and haven't either gained or lost weight. My body is used to carrying around a certain amount of weight, and I FEEL IT if I gain even a modest amount. I feel tired, sluggish, crappy, and my self-esteem suffers.

I never interpreted your post to be a "poor me I want to be 120 lbs and look like a model" whine. I totally relate to the fact that you're uncomfortable at your current weight and there's a total loss of control in that you're doing everything possible and despite your best efforts cannot change the situation. That in itself is frustrating - the lack of control.

I've got no weight loss suggestions (except totally unhealthy ones and you don't want them!!!) but hang in there. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 10:37am
THANK YOU!
Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: suziq_3
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 5:00pm
this post is waaay old.i wonder how far back patrick went to find it.
anyway...those of you who answered my recent post.i adore you & i'm doing my best to stop with the nonstop diologue in my head.