Letter to families after breakdown
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| Fri, 02-10-2006 - 11:02am |
See the thread "Bonnie" if you want to see why I am publishing this letter.
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Recuperation after a mental breakdown:
This extende3d period of vulnerability routinely goes unrecognized by professionals as well as families. Although many professionals may now agree that biology causes the illness, they often assume that recovery is solely a function of “psychological will.” Consequently many programs involve ambitious psychosocial treatments and full-day scheduled activities during the early recovery period when the individual is least able to participate.
In the Bridges Consumer Peer Education Course, developed by consumers in Tennessee, this early period is termed “Recuperation,” which is defined as a normative state of dependence after the trauma of mental breakdown. In their view, this period of physical, emotional and spiritual “mending” is critically important to the recovery process; anything that puts consumers under pressure to “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” is painfully defeating.
Let’s take a minute and listen to the “Open Letter to Families” which they have prepared as a handout of their course.
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My Dear Family:
This letter is a plea for your compassion, understanding and patience. We have all just come th rough an episode of my mental illness. I have experienced it personally and you have tried to deal with its effects while continuing to take care of our family as a whole. It has not been easy, but I have done the best I know how and so have you. For this, I thank you.
As a result of this episode, I am now exhausted. Maybe I look all right to you, but inside I am wounded. Even the least stress, the least effort is overwhelming to me. I need to just sit and pull myself together. I need to sleep a lot, and not do much at all. This may go on for quite some time.
It may be hard for you to see me this way. You may feel it is your duty to help me “snap out of it.” You may be wondering if I am using this as an excuse to be lazy. Please be gentle with me; let me heal.
If you want to do something for me, there are three things I would appreciate.
Learn about my illness. This is an illness of the brain and body, just like any other disease. It also affects my ability to think, feel and behave. Those effects may have been difficult for you to deal with. I am sorry if the effects of my illness have made your life more difficult. Learning about the illness may help you put these difficulties in perspective.
Help me find effective treatment. This takes patience and persistence. In my present state, I may not have the energy to follow through by myself. I may need you to advocate for me, until we find people and medicines that really help.
The other ting you can do for me is to listen with an open heart and an open mind. Don’t try to advice me. Just listen while I work this out for myself. Your trust and understanding during this time of rest and recuperation will help me feel confident enough to decide when I am able to step (perhaps gradually) back into life activities.
Thank you for your support and compassion. It will make my path to recovery more smooth and sure.
With thanks and hope,

This is wonderful--thank you for posting.
This was a letter given to use in the NAMI Family-to-Family Course. But I looked up the Bridges program & it appears it is a NAMI 10w course offered in 11 states & BC.
Building Recovery of Individual Dreams and Goals through Education and Support
(B.R.I.D.G.E.S.)
http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=State_and_Local_Programs&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=30186
"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."
~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng